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Author Topic: 20 Jokes So Terrible They're Actually Funny  (Read 166 times)

Offline Switchback

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20 Jokes So Terrible They're Actually Funny
« on: July 04, 2015, 10:34:52 AM »
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good...) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!!!!!!!!
"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking." J. C. Watts

Offline sawdstmakr

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Re: 20 Jokes So Terrible They're Actually Funny
« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2015, 10:57:04 AM »
 :grin:
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed.  If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."--Mark Twain

Offline divemaster1963

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Re: 20 Jokes So Terrible They're Actually Funny
« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2015, 04:10:56 PM »
so so so bad!!!

now I'm going to be thinking about these all day and it your fault. dang you

john

Offline Michael Bush

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Re: 20 Jokes So Terrible They're Actually Funny
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2015, 10:07:12 AM »
Another pun:
Once there was a famous American punster who was at a banquet in England.  Someone asked if it were true that he could make a pun at the drop of a hat.  He acknowledge that it was.  He was then asked to do so.   He asked, "Give me a subject."   This being England, someone immediately shouted out "The Queen!"   Whereupon he responded "But the Queen is not a subject."

Here's a quintuple pun from Bennett Cerf of which I've heard many different versions of the story with the same punchline...

A man was doing biological research and he had a variety of animals in his lab.  His current theory was that you could feed sea gulls to dolphins and this would keep them from aging.  On his way back from catching the sea gulls he found that one of his lions had gotten out of the cage and was asleep on the threshold.  He quietly stepped over the lion and was promptly arrested.  "What is the charge!?" he asked.  The policemen replied "Transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises."
Michael Bush
My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm en espanol: bushfarms.com/es_bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
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Offline sawdstmakr

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Re: 20 Jokes So Terrible They're Actually Funny
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2015, 01:30:40 PM »
 :grin:
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed.  If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."--Mark Twain

 

anything