Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him.
He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.
When all is ready, he begins to speak:
My son Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses." My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."
My son Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Center."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river."
The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says,
"Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property".
The wife replies, "The turd had a paper route."