Aussie Culcha

[Geoff]

              Rural  Australia Computer Terminology -
  Getting ready for Joolya's  Broadband in the bush!!

 

   ·  A little bit of Aussie  culcha


LOGON:                    Adding wood to make  the barbie  hotter
LOG OFF:                     Not adding any more wood to the  barbie.
   MONITOR:                   Keeping  an eye on the barbie.
DOWNLOAD:           Getting  the firewood off the Ute.
HARD  DRIVE:            Making  the trip back home without any cold  tinnies.
KEYBOARD:                Where  you hang the Ute keys.
WINDOW:                     What  you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN:                       What  you shut in the mozzie season..
BYTE:                              What  mozzies do
MEGABYTE:               What  Townsville mozzies do.
CHIP:                              A  pub snack.
MICROCHIP:               What's  left in the bag after you've eaten the  chips.
MODEM:                       What  you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP:                       Where  the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE:                Plastic  knives & forks you get at Red  Rooster.
HARDWARE:               Stainless  steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.
 
MOUSE:                          The small rodent that eats the  grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME:                What holds the shed  up.
WEB:                               What spiders  make.
WEBSITE:                      Usually in the shed or under  the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE:      What you do when the Ute won't  go.
CURSOR:                     What you say when the Ute won't  go.
YAHOO:                          What you say when the Ute does  go.
 
UPGRADE:                    A  steep hill.
SERVER:                      The person at the pub who  brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER:         The bloke at the pub who brings  out the counter lunch.
USER:                           The neighbour who keeps  borrowing things.
 
NETWORK:                 What you do when you need to  repair the fishing net.
 
INTERNET:                 Where you want the fish to  go.
NETSCAPE:               What the fish do when they  discover a hole in the net.
 
ONLINE:                      Where you hang the washing.
 
OFFLINE:                    Where the washing ends up when  the pegs aren't  strong  enough.