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Author Topic: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.  (Read 3316 times)

Offline Understudy

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My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« on: March 18, 2007, 06:26:08 PM »
First the disclaimer:
I have no problem with rednecks. It is just I could no more be one than I could be blonde without a dye job. With that being said.

Over the past couple of weeks my wife and I have had a discussion. I have been hauling a lot of beekeeping supplies around in my 1987 Toyota Supra. A car I love very much. However it doesn't exactly make for large trunk space. My wife drives a 1984 Toyota Supra so her car doesn't come with extra trunk space either. A van is nice but the idea of hauling large numbers of hives enclosed in the same space as me should something go wrong is a bit disconcerting. The final straw came between yesterday and today. My wife and I went to the rare fruit tree sale put on by the local rare fruit council. We bought stuff a lot of it including a 4 foot key lime tree. Remember we are in a Toyota Supra.

Fortunatly it has a sun roof. So we packed up a bunch plants and trees in the car, by opening the sun roof and loading them in from the top down. I tuck my wife into a small corner of the back seat and let the thorns from the key lime tree poke her. Since going to this thing was her bright idea.

I drove up the road back to the house with trees sticking out the sunroof of car. I think I caused three accidents along the way from people looking at the car and laughing so hard they forgot to watch the road.

The today I am trying to get ready for cut outs and I am trying to cram six medium hive bodies screened bottom boards and top entrances plus tools and other items into the car to go and do the cutouts. I couldn't even see my rear view mirror. Then to top it all off the battery on the car went. And I got stuck not being able to do my cut outs.

My wife and I looked at each other and said it is time for a pickup truck. I could hear bad country music bouncing in my head. All of the sudden the vision of me in a plaid shirt , boots and a piece of straw hanging out of my mouth made me cringe. it just isn't who I am. My wife noticing the twitch I suddenly developed in my left eye said don't worry honey I will get a baseball cap with a confederate flag on it and a horn that play dixie. My wifes sympathy and understanding on occasion leaves something to be desired. Regardless of the image and stereotype I was about to place myself into we purused the ads. Now I have some rules about what I wanted in a truck if I was going to get a truck.
1. It had to be a pickup truck. Not some supped up 4 wheel drive that I needed a ladder to get into.
2. It had to have a real truck bed. If I can't fit a sheet of 4x8 plywood in it without the plywood hanging half off the back I am not interested.
3. It had to be a real truck. No oversized Tonka toy that some yuppie scum is driving around just to make himself look good.
4. No extended cab. I need a truck not a mini van disgused as a truck.
5. It had to be used. I am not paying the over inflated new car costs that some slick haired car salesman is trying to sell me so he can have a commision.

Well my being picky lead me to look through the classified, ebay motors and finally craigslist. Rednecks don't tend to hang on craiglist but enviromental whacked out tree huggers do and occasionaly they have a truck without realizing why they have a truck. Well $1400 dollars later I am now the proud owner of a 1989 Ford F150 xlt pickup with extended bed and a 5 speed manual transmission. It ain't the most pretty vehicle out there but it runs great the engine and transmission are in fantastic shape, and the seats aren't torn up. Some dings and rust spots but nothing that will confuse me with a wannabe yuppie. :)

My wife tells me now when I drive the dog has to go with me in the back. Maybe I can trade the wife on craigslist. In the meantime I now need to sell my 1987 Toyata Supra. i think I will put it on craiglist when I am ready to sell it. Maybe when they buy the car they can take the wife with it. Right now she is teasing me about what size boots I wear. I hope she understands I will kick her in the bum it with them.

Sincerely,
Brendhan


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Offline Jerrymac

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2007, 07:18:10 PM »
Is it really that much different in other states? Here just about everyone has a pick up or they want one. I got one. My neighbors on both sides have one. Then their neighbors have PUs. On the city streets what vehicle do you think you would see more of? Yep, pickups. Then all sorts of SUVs and Vans. Then you get those pesky people that drives those other things called automobiles or cars.

But once you get a pickup..... I don't call them trucks. A truck is that huge thing I drove all over the country awhile back. 18 wheels...... But once you get a pick up every one is your friend. Yep. Just wait and see how many want you to haul something.
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Online kathyp

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2007, 07:19:07 PM »
Quote
vision of me in a plaid shirt , boots and a piece of straw hanging out of my mouth made me cringe. it just isn't who I am. My wife noticing the twitch I suddenly developed in my left eye said don't worry honey I will get a baseball cap with a confederate flag on it and a horn that play dixie

that's only for southern rednecks.  you don't have to be a southern redneck even if you do live down there.  you need a John Deere hat, a teeshirt with some unidentifiable brown stains, and a little alfalfa sprinkled on your shoulders.  get some steel toed boots and stick a wrench in your pocket. on one side of your back window goes an American flag and on the other, an NRA sticker.  you can mount a gun rack, but on an F150 that might be to much. oh ya...pull your pants down around your hips........now you are a northern redneck!  :-)  

congrats on the truck.  trucks are good!!!!
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

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Offline Understudy

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2007, 07:30:36 PM »
Is it really that much different in other states? Here just about everyone has a pick up or they want one. I got one. My neighbors on both sides have one. Then their neighbors have PUs. On the city streets what vehicle do you think you would see more of? Yep, pickups. Then all sorts of SUVs and Vans. Then you get those pesky people that drives those other things called automobiles or cars.

But once you get a pickup..... I don't call them trucks. A truck is that huge thing I drove all over the country awhile back. 18 wheels...... But once you get a pick up every one is your friend. Yep. Just wait and see how many want you to haul something.

That was a major concern of mine, is all the new "friends" I would acquire. I am not going to become the local mover. I rented pick up trucks a couple of times vs. bugging people who I know had them.

kathyp
I completely forgot about the gun rack. I will have to make sure I do that right away. Do you think they will mind if I mount a flamethrower in it vs. a gun rack. Because shooting drivers who cut me off is to easy. It's much more fun to make their cars go up in a blaze of glory.

Sincerely,
Brendhan
The status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just need to rule it. Dr. Horrible

Online kathyp

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2007, 07:57:08 PM »
flame thrower is a cool idea.  make sure you mount it on a turret that will rotate.  that way you can make sure you keep the flame on them long enough to peel the paint off the whole thing, not just spots.  you are into computers?  make it computer controlled.  it can rise up from top of the truck and auto-track the offending vehicle.  i can see lots of potential there......
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline buzzbee

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2007, 11:32:36 PM »
Once you have a pickup you'll wonder aftera while how you did without.I got my original "redneck"pickup
Its a 78 Dodge Power Wagon with a short box ,I pulled out the 360 engine it came with,put in a 383 with two 4 barrel carbs for a while and then settled on a 440 police interceptor engine. Just because I could not because I had too! Oh and it has the 33 x12.50 tires just 'cause I could. I also have a 94 Ram 1500 4 x 2
with a long bed to use as a pickup! It's hard to do without one" :lol:
Enjoy the truck!!

Offline Jerrymac

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2007, 12:28:46 AM »
Big engine transfer I did once was put an Olds 454 into this body style camaro

http://www.agriaffaires.com/voiture/g23013_2006092085853_1/chevrolet-camaro.jpg
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Offline Doorman

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2007, 10:15:11 AM »
Don't worry about the redneck thing. According  to several sources, the most commonly owned vehicle by millionaires is the ford f150..
so shoot for that stereotype. Next Post: "My Transformation to Millionaire Beekeeper is Almost Complete".  (ignore that little oxymoron in there)
Some call me a bee farmer, I prefer rancher. What
with millions of tiny livestock foraging the open range, spring and fall round ups. Boy howdy branding their little butts sure is tedious.

Offline Understudy

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2007, 06:10:45 PM »
Don't worry about the redneck thing. According  to several sources, the most commonly owned vehicle by millionaires is the ford f150..
so shoot for that stereotype. Next Post: "My Transformation to Millionaire Beekeeper is Almost Complete".  (ignore that little oxymoron in there)

LMAO!

Sincerely,
Brendhan
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Offline Kev

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2007, 07:31:23 PM »
So, a Vermont farmer and a farmer from Texas are an international agriculture convention. Both of them looking at an equipment exhibit. 

Finally, the Texan says "how much land are you farmin?"

The Vermonter replies, "I got enough to keep me busy."

The Texan returns, "Well, you know, I can drive all day in my pickup and not get to the other side of my property."

The Vermonter looks up and says "I know just what you mean. I once had a pickup just like that."


good luck with the new/used truck
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Offline Brian D. Bray

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2007, 08:09:45 PM »
You don't need a gun rack in the back window of your pickup to be a redneck, a CB radio and/or antenna works as well. 

Pickup = redneck coupe
4X4 Jeep = redneck sports car
Pickup w/extended cab = Redneck sedan
Pickup w/Crew cab & canopy = redneck limosine
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Offline buzzbeejr

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2007, 12:45:56 AM »
Once you have a pickup you'll wonder aftera while how you did without.I got my original "redneck"pickup
Its a 78 Dodge Power Wagon with a short box ,I pulled out the 360 engine it came with,put in a 383 with two 4 barrel carbs for a while and then settled on a 440 police interceptor engine. Just because I could not because I had too! Oh and it has the 33 x12.50 tires just 'cause I could. I also have a 94 Ram 1500 4 x 2
with a long bed to use as a pickup! It's hard to do without one" :lol:
Enjoy the truck!!
He forgot to mention that it gets like 5 gallons to the mile, has about 10 different colors of paint, and about half of the truck is parts other than the original pieces.  :-D
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Offline buzzbee

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2007, 06:47:16 AM »
Once you have a pickup you'll wonder aftera while how you did without.I got my original "redneck"pickup
Its a 78 Dodge Power Wagon with a short box ,I pulled out the 360 engine it came with,put in a 383 with two 4 barrel carbs for a while and then settled on a 440 police interceptor engine. Just because I could not because I had too! Oh and it has the 33 x12.50 tires just 'cause I could. I also have a 94 Ram 1500 4 x 2
with a long bed to use as a pickup! It's hard to do without one" :lol:
Enjoy the truck!!
He forgot to mention that it gets like 5 gallons to the mile, has about 10 different colors of paint, and about half of the truck is parts other than the original pieces.  :-D
True redneck style!Used to be nice before "settling down and letting it be a truck"

Offline nepenthes

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #13 on: April 02, 2007, 12:22:49 AM »
my mom has a 2002 Dodge Cummuns Diesel Full Bed. IM SOO jealous, its stock every thing. My mom drives it, she works in a big cooperate building. Don't fret you wont become a hick, its just a truck. If worst comes to worse get an El Camino!
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Offline TwT

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #14 on: April 02, 2007, 07:56:03 AM »
Big engine transfer I did once was put an Olds 454 into this body style camaro

http://www.agriaffaires.com/voiture/g23013_2006092085853_1/chevrolet-camaro.jpg


Don't you mean a Olds 455, 454 is a chevy engine, Olds 455 was the biggest Olds engine, strong engine also when enough money put into it.....  ;) what did you have to do for the motor mounts to fit? I built a 454 before , it was the first motor I ever built, I put it in a 72 SS Nova, the motor fit tight but not with the headers on I had to put the headers on from under the car. it was my first street legal drag car.
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Offline Jerrymac

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #15 on: April 02, 2007, 01:01:43 PM »
Yeah I probably got the numbers wrong. It came out of an Olds 98. Huge car. I built the motor mounts out of steel plate. Had to move the radiator forward an inch or so, and had to hammer a big dent into the fire wall. I had to remake the drive shaft, shorten it up a bit.

When this engine was in the big olds it was sluggish, really needed a tune-up. After getting it in the camero it took on a whole new life even with out the tune up.
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Offline 1frozenhillbilly

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #16 on: November 23, 2007, 06:50:20 PM »
i thought spare parts fro 3 or 4 different trucks was mormal
vegetarian???  isnt green stuff for growing meat?

Offline Brian D. Bray

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Re: My transformation to a redneck is almost complete.
« Reply #17 on: November 24, 2007, 01:41:24 AM »
Reminds me of that old Johnny Cash song about a 23-24-55-56...cadillac, stolen from the factory 1 part at a time.
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