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Author Topic: A letter from a soldier  (Read 1835 times)

Offline beemaster

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A letter from a soldier
« on: March 16, 2007, 10:06:43 AM »
Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine
Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick
before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m.
but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before
breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed
to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is
strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak
on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food,
but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on
coffee. Their food plus yours holds you until noon when you get fed again.
It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to
harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route
march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get
sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat The sergeant is like a school teacher. He
nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just
ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for
shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head
and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home.
All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load
your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle
with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy.
It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they
got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake I only beat
him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds
and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get
onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Alice
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Offline Mici

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Re: A letter from a soldier
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2007, 02:29:24 PM »
ahahahaha the last four words nearly killed me ahahahahahahaha

Offline mabuzzbee

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Re: A letter from a soldier
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2007, 06:29:39 PM »
That's the funniest thing I have read in a long time
I am nobody.  Nobody is perfect.  Therefore, I am perfect.

Offline mick

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Re: A letter from a soldier
« Reply #3 on: April 24, 2007, 06:26:40 AM »
crack upo!

Offline organicgrl37

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Re: A letter from a soldier
« Reply #4 on: April 24, 2007, 02:55:13 PM »
this was really very silly, it had the whole family in stitches lol

Offline 1frozenhillbilly

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Re: A letter from a soldier
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2007, 06:41:45 PM »
dont show this to my sister she'll be off to iraq if she gets wind of it
vegetarian???  isnt green stuff for growing meat?

Offline Cindi

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Re: A letter from a soldier
« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2007, 11:17:08 PM »
John, eeeeeeew yah!!!!!  That was indeed a funnnneee!!!!  And it was a girl!!!  Have a wonderful and greatest of days.  Cindi
There are strange things done in the midnight sun by the men who moil for gold.  The Arctic trails have their secret tales that would make your blood run cold.  The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see, what the night on the marge of Lake Lebarge, I cremated Sam McGee.  Robert Service

 

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