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pdmattox
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« on: February 22, 2007, 06:19:13 PM » |
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A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?" The man thought a moment then replied? "A martini please." The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had. The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?" The man answered "Oh, about 164." The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity', inter-stellar space travel, the latest medical breakthroughs, etc... The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A martini please." Again it was superb? The robot again asked "What is your IQ sir?" This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing NASCAR racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this week end. The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?" This time the man drawled out " Uh.... bout 50". The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked, "A-r-e... y-o-u-r... p-e-o-p-l-e... g-o-i-n-g... t-o... n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e... H-i-l-l-a-r-y-?  ? |
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mabuzzbee
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« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2007, 06:32:22 PM » |
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Ha HA Ha, good one
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I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
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buzzbeejr
Josh
Youth Group
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« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2007, 06:40:29 PM » |
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I am closest to 100. Great joke  |
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MMMMMMMMM!!!!!! Doughnuts.- Homer Simpson
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Robo
Technical
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Location: Scenic Catskill Mountains - NY
Beekeep On!
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« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2007, 06:47:47 PM » |
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I'm offended by your callous disrespect of my Senator. Beemaster please remove this post. I'm thinking of getting some bumper stickers made. Hitlery '08  |
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kathyp
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« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2007, 09:00:10 PM » |
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I'm offended by your callous disrespect of my Senator.  i was watching a news show (not late night) and one of the reporters was walking around NY asking people to name the senators from the state. now, NY has some of the best known senators in the country. everyone ought to be able to name both. even so, most of the people could not name either, some could name one, but i don't think anyone could name both......this was before the last elections. i don't even know what to think about that.....sure makes it hard for folks to run for office if the people in their own states don't know who (what) they are!!  |
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"Nay, it [this constitution of government] must perish, if there be not that vital spirit in the people, which alone can nourish, sustain, and direct all its movements. It is in vain, that statesmen shall form plans of government, in which the beauty and harmony of a republic shall be embodied in visible order, shall be built up on solid substructions, and adorned by every useful ornament, if the inhabitants suffer the silent power of time to dilapidate its walls, or crumble its massy supporters into dust; if the assaults from without are never resisted, and the rottenness and mining from within are never guarded against. Who can preserve the rights and liberties of the people, when they shall be abandoned by themselves? Who shall keep watch in the temple, when the watchmen sleep at their posts? Who shall call upon the people to redeem their possessions, and revive the republic, when their own hands have deliberately and corruptly surrendered them to the oppressor, and have built the prisons, or dug the graves of their own friends?
– Justice Joseph Story, "Commentaries on the Constitution of the United States," Volume II, Chapter XIII: Mode of Passing Laws, Sections 900-901, pp. 364 (1833)
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Robo
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« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2007, 09:10:04 PM » |
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Sean Hannity does "man on the street" every Thursday where he sends someone out on the streets of NYC to find people to ask questions to. It is amazing how many can't even name the president or VP, let alone secretary of state or defense.
What was really sad was around election time when he asked them who they planned to vote for, and 95+% would say Kerry, but when asked why had no real tangible reason. Talk about liberal lemmings.
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Understudy
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« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2007, 09:21:09 PM » |
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What do you mean my senators aren't Anna Nicole and Brittney Spears?
And just for the record:
My senators are
Mel Martinez
Bill Nelson
My Governor
Charlie Crist
My state senators
Dave Aronberg
Ted Deutch
State Reps
Priscilla Taylor
Shelley Vana
Susan Bucher
Mary Brandenburg
County Commisioner
Jess Santamaria
We don't have a mayor or city council.
I have to admit I don't have this list completly memorized because I keep confusing the names of the previous holders with the current memebers. I do keep this list in my wallet.
Sincerely,
Brendhan
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The status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just need to rule it. Dr. Horrible
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kathyp
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« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2007, 10:54:42 PM » |
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this came in my email tonight. Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an old cow loomed in front of the car. The Driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the aged bovine was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists. About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick. "What happened to you," asked Hillary? "Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me!" "What did you tell them?" asked Hillary. The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow. The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it. |
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"Nay, it [this constitution of government] must perish, if there be not that vital spirit in the people, which alone can nourish, sustain, and direct all its movements. It is in vain, that statesmen shall form plans of government, in which the beauty and harmony of a republic shall be embodied in visible order, shall be built up on solid substructions, and adorned by every useful ornament, if the inhabitants suffer the silent power of time to dilapidate its walls, or crumble its massy supporters into dust; if the assaults from without are never resisted, and the rottenness and mining from within are never guarded against. Who can preserve the rights and liberties of the people, when they shall be abandoned by themselves? Who shall keep watch in the temple, when the watchmen sleep at their posts? Who shall call upon the people to redeem their possessions, and revive the republic, when their own hands have deliberately and corruptly surrendered them to the oppressor, and have built the prisons, or dug the graves of their own friends?
– Justice Joseph Story, "Commentaries on the Constitution of the United States," Volume II, Chapter XIII: Mode of Passing Laws, Sections 900-901, pp. 364 (1833)
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pdmattox
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« Reply #8 on: February 22, 2007, 11:11:08 PM » |
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Kathy I like that one. |
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TwT
Senior Forum
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Galactic Bee
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Posts: 3384
Location: Walker, La.
Ted
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« Reply #9 on: February 22, 2007, 11:14:11 PM » |
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I'm offended by your callous disrespect of my Senator. Beemaster please remove this post. I'm thinking of getting some bumper stickers made. Hitlery '08 shoot Robo, she ran this country before when bill was president, she didn't do good then either!!!!!!!! , I think she just want a intern to help her get even with Bill  |
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THAT's ME TO THE LEFT JUST 5 YEARS FROM NOW!!!!!!!!
Never be afraid to try something new.
Amateurs built the ark,
Professionals built the Titanic
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TwT
Senior Forum
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Galactic Bee
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Posts: 3384
Location: Walker, La.
Ted
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« Reply #10 on: February 23, 2007, 12:19:44 AM » |
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here you go Robo
The Hottest Selling Political Bumper Sticker
Finally, a new bumper sticker for BOTH political parties.
This hottest selling political bumper sticker comes from New York State:
"RUN HILARY RUN'
Democrats put it on the rear bumper.
Republicans put it on the front bumper.
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THAT's ME TO THE LEFT JUST 5 YEARS FROM NOW!!!!!!!!
Never be afraid to try something new.
Amateurs built the ark,
Professionals built the Titanic
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kathyp
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« Reply #11 on: February 23, 2007, 11:58:07 AM » |
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that bumper sticker idea got a laugh out of me! it would look good on the front of my truck!
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"Nay, it [this constitution of government] must perish, if there be not that vital spirit in the people, which alone can nourish, sustain, and direct all its movements. It is in vain, that statesmen shall form plans of government, in which the beauty and harmony of a republic shall be embodied in visible order, shall be built up on solid substructions, and adorned by every useful ornament, if the inhabitants suffer the silent power of time to dilapidate its walls, or crumble its massy supporters into dust; if the assaults from without are never resisted, and the rottenness and mining from within are never guarded against. Who can preserve the rights and liberties of the people, when they shall be abandoned by themselves? Who shall keep watch in the temple, when the watchmen sleep at their posts? Who shall call upon the people to redeem their possessions, and revive the republic, when their own hands have deliberately and corruptly surrendered them to the oppressor, and have built the prisons, or dug the graves of their own friends?
– Justice Joseph Story, "Commentaries on the Constitution of the United States," Volume II, Chapter XIII: Mode of Passing Laws, Sections 900-901, pp. 364 (1833)
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