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Author Topic: The Purina Diet  (Read 860 times)
pdmattox
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« on: January 24, 2007, 06:35:35 PM »

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........

Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was Starting The Purina Diet again,

although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time,

but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

 

The package said the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story,

particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

 evil
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Jerrymac
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« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2007, 06:48:25 PM »

Here's your sign
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rainbow sunflower  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   rainbow sunflower

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buzzbeejr
Josh
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« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2007, 11:10:39 PM »

what i diet. that make mine sound good.
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MMMMMMMMM!!!!!! Doughnuts.- Homer Simpson
mick
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« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2007, 03:48:11 AM »

God Bless America.
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Cindi
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« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2007, 09:06:38 AM »

Ha, I gotta agree, here's your sign.

I sure hope the blazes that you are kidding about your story.  I truly could not believe that that many people could be so gullable.  Did you know gullable is in the dictionary twice?  Greatest of days.  Cindi
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There are strange things done in the midnight sun by the men who moil for gold.  The Arctic trails have their secret tales that would make your blood run cold.  The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see, what the night on the marge of Lake Lebarge, I cremated Sam McGee.  Robert Service
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