I always thought it was "My family is sooooo Redneck, our family tree is a telephone pole!"
You know your a redneck when that CARD BOARD CENTER looks mighty inviting when the toilet paper runs out!
10 Ways to tell if a Redneck has been working on a Computer
10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM ports have truck parts stored in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is "Bubba".
4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
3. There's a Coors can in the cup holder(CD-ROM drive).
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.
Question: What do you call the sight of a plumber under the sink with his pants creeping down, exposing his crack?
Answer: Redneck Cleavage.
Question: How long does it takes a redneck to eat road kill?
Answer: It depends on how heavy the traffic is.
Question: What are the last words of a redneck?
Answer: "Hey y'all check this out!"
You know you're staying in a redneck motel, when you call up the front desk to say you gotta leak in the sink, and the guy says, "Go ahead."
Hope my family members don't get insulted, but I do have a dead uncle that has a tombstone carved out like an 18 wheeler semi-truck. His wife was driving with him, and she's not dead yet, but the enscryption says, "One fine team". Sorry Aunt Annamae!
Question: How do you recognize an Aussie Redneck?
Answer: You look up his family tree and most of them are still in it!!
Question: What do you call a New Zealand Redneck with 6 sheep?
Answer: A pimp.
Question: Why do Aussie Rednecks curl their cowboy hats up at the sides?
Answer: So the can fit 3 abreast in a pickup.
Famous last words of a Redneck: "Hey! I got it!"
Redneck ugly date test: Does your dog hump her leg with his eyes open, or shut?
Question: What does a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?
Answer: One way or the other someone is losing their trailer!
Question: Why do they throw DOG CRAP on the walls at rednack weddings?
Answer: To keep the flies off the bride!
Question: What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?
Answer: A northern fairy tale begins with, "Once upon a time. . . " A southern fairy tale begins with, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this . . . "
Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks
Question: What does a West Virginian do when his truck breaks down?
Answer: He builds a house beside it.
What do you call the sweat produced when two rednecks are making out
What does a redneck call hitting a deer at 65 mph?
Who was the first redneck in the Bible?
Cain because he married his sister.
How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum?
Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.
Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "Bout what?"
How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?
There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.
What do you call a room full of redneck women?
A full set of teeth!
How can you tell a rich redneck from a poor redneck?
*The rich redneck has two cars up on blocks in the yard.
*Five rednecks drowned in the Ohio river last week. They were trying to dig a basement in the bottom of their houseboat.