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Offline krb7694

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How can I convince my wife.......................
« on: September 22, 2006, 10:45:08 AM »
to let me have bees?

I have been reading "Beekeeping for Dummies" trying to learn as much as I can about beekeeping. I live on a 1/2 acre lot. I also have 4 ducks, 5 bantie chickens & 1 guinea.

I have become interested in beekeeping and said something to my wife about it & she said a flat out NO! We have a 9 month old daughter & she is afraid she will get stung. Also she is worried it will take too much of my time away from her & my daughter. Her Grandfather had bees for years & one time her grandmother got stung while she was in the garden. She made him get rid of all of his bees. Her Grandfather passed away a few years back. I think her Grandmother is not to crazy about bees because she got stung.

My chickens & ducks take about 30 minutes of my time each day & I do not hunt so I am home most all the time. My wife is ignorant as far as bees go. Any advice?

Offline Eshu

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« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2006, 11:29:20 AM »
You could talk a nearby landowner or farmer into letting you keep bees on their property.  It doesn't address the time issue, but should put her at ease about stinging.

Offline randydrivesabus

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« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2006, 11:59:40 AM »
start calling her honey?

Offline NurseBee

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« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2006, 01:43:25 PM »
Hi krb7694---I just had to add my 2 cents to this post. I happen to be a wife, mother, registered nurse as well as a beekeeper. Wasn't raised to be afraid of bees, bugs, snakes, getting dirty or working hard. I've been stung just as often by yellow jackets and hornets over the years as I have been stung by my honeybees. Many people would never be able to identify the difference between any them so how would they know if it was a honeybee that stung them? Most likely it wasn't.  Regarding your wife,  my advice to you would be to educate yourself first. Keep reading all that you can about beekeeping, visit displays at country fairs, consider joining your local beekeeper's association--you may find out that there is a beekeeper in your own town or neighborhood that would consider mentoring you. Once you have become more informed and confident, you can educate your wife. Perhaps it could even turn into something the whole family can be involved in.  Beekeeping is an fascinating hobby--more to it than meets the eye. And girls make GREAT beekeepers! :wink:

Offline Scadsobees

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« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2006, 03:07:41 PM »
Hi
I have a 1/2 acre lot in the suburbs.  I have 5 children, 2 of which have been through the 9 mo phase (youngest is now 18 mo).  I've also got a small orchard and a garden here.  I can keep the bees in a back corner and there are good trees all along the lot lines.

We mostly get wasp stings around here(7 year old boys aren't very smart!!) .  The honeybees only sting when I'm messing with them or if the boys (7&8yrs old) are messing with them.  One time my 13 month old son (now 3) did crawl out there and try to stick his fingers in the hive...the bees swarmed around alot, but only caused 2 stings, one to the 13month old, one on the 6 year old that helped out and grabbed him away.  That is when the fence went up, although not all of the hives fit in there anymore, but there haven't been any other incidences, I don't tolerate mean bees.

They will take more time than you think.  Once you have them for a while it is about 1-2 hours per week.  Initially though you will probably obsess about them and spend as many waking hours as possible watching or monkeying with them or the equipment.  My wife complained all time about how much time they are taking.  This year has been a little bit better now that the little kids are a bit bigger and I'm learning to leave the bees alone as much as possible.

good luck convincing her.  My wife looks forward to selling the honey for me.  Great for gifts too.
-rick

PS I will also add that my 8yr old son really is getting involved, and now has his own hive, it is really neat to see him get excited about all that. That is enough to make his 7 yr old brother jealous, so we will see if he gets more involved.
Rick

Offline ian michael davison

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How can I convince my wife.......................
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2006, 03:32:33 PM »
Hi all

"My wife is ignorant as far as bees go. Any advice?"
GET THE BEES SWAP THE WIFE. :lol:  :twisted:

Regards and good luck!!
 Ian

Offline kathyp

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« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2006, 03:39:45 PM »
any time a wife says "it will take time away from me" you  have lost the battle.

you probably have other issues to deal with before you try getting bees.

i agree with others. learn all you can and be patient.  it took me 5 years from the time i decided i wanted to do bees, and the time i got my first hive.  stuff just got in the way.  the bees will be there later on......
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline Brian D. Bray

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How can I convince my wife.......................
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2006, 04:15:06 PM »
A couple of hives shouldn't take more than a couple of  hours a month.  I've had bees off and on since 1959 so my wife knew what she was getting into when we got married.  I have 5 children (the oldest is now 32) and in that time only one child (the oldest) ever got stung from my bees.  I've had them farmed out to other places and kept them on a tiny city lot in the middle of town without too much trouble.  Right now I live on the edge of town with 1.2 acres.  I'll be putting up a fence this winter so that the goats don't try to use them for scratching posts.
Some women can be very set in their attitudes about certain things.  My wife hates guns and yet I was a police officer and hunted (until injuries made it impossible) so I have guns.  My wife has refused to be educated on guns.  I'd say if your wife wants you to spend more time with her that there is an issue that my involve one of you other activities or maybe she is a bit selfcentered.  Try offering to educate her on bees (along with yourself) and/or giving up one of your other activities.
Life is a school.  What have you learned?   :brian:      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!

Offline krb7694

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How can I convince my wife.......................
« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2006, 04:24:40 PM »
My wife is a Nurse Practitioner. She works 7:30 am-5:00 pm. She also has to drive 20 minutes to and from work. I think it is more of a time thing than anything. If she only worked 1/2 day I don't think there would be much of a problem. Well, she would still be worried about my 9 month old daughter getting stung.

I will continue to educate myself & try to find a mentor. My uncle used to raise bees but had to stop because he owned three businesses. He said he loved it.

My family owns 300 acres of land in the country that has a 20 acre  watershed lake. The land is used for hunting. My brothers plant corn to attract deer. They want me to put bee hives out there to help the corn grow. One of my brothers wants to go to pay 1/2 the cost & us do it together. We could put as many hives out there as we wanted to. This would solve the problem of my daughter getting stung but not the time issue.

Offline ctsoth

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« Reply #9 on: September 22, 2006, 04:39:56 PM »
Start it up with your bro and don't tell her.  Keep your tools with him.  Hopefully by the time she finds out you will have had the bees for a long time, and your only helping your brother out ;).

Always wear a bee suit so you do not have to explain away any stings...

Also, if she ever makes any positive mention about bees you can take that as permission to start beekeeping.

Offline kathyp

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« Reply #10 on: September 22, 2006, 04:49:16 PM »
ctsoth!

that's what i do with my husband.  if i mention a thing and he doesn't say anything negative, i consider it consent to go on  :D

krb7694,

if getting stung is an issue, ask your wife if she ever intends to take your child outside?  if the answer is yes, then you might point out that bees live outside and there is a risk of getting stung.  in fact, yellow jackets and wasps are far more dangerous.  you might also ask her just what she is afraid of?  what does she think will happen if she or your daughter get stung?  

perhaps she might like to reorganize her work schedule so that she has more time at home?  

just a few thoughts....i'm not really good at figuring out the female point of view.  to many years running with the boys, i guess :)

seems most of the time these arguments don't have much to do with what you are arguing about....
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline Jerrymac

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« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2006, 05:38:58 PM »
You probably aren't going to get the bees before spring....... correct?

Between now and then, how do I put this, you can't, won't keep your hands off of her.  :shock: Every moment of free time you have you want to be.... :wink:  with :wink: ... her. Even if she is doing something. By spring time she will want you to get a hobby.  :D  :D
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Offline kathyp

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« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2006, 10:58:42 PM »
Quote
Between now and then, how do I put this, you can't, won't keep your hands off of her.  Every moment of free time you have you want to be....  with  ... her. Even if she is doing something. By spring time she will want you to get a hobby.  



if she doesn't shoot you first!!  or think you are up to no good..... :oops:
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline BeeHopper

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Re: How can I convince my wife.......................
« Reply #13 on: September 23, 2006, 12:47:50 AM »
Quote from: krb7694
to let me have bees?

I have been reading "Beekeeping for Dummies" trying to learn as much as I can about beekeeping. I live on a 1/2 acre lot. I also have 4 ducks, 5 bantie chickens & 1 guinea.

I have become interested in beekeeping and said something to my wife about it & she said a flat out NO! We have a 9 month old daughter & she is afraid she will get stung. Also she is worried it will take too much of my time away from her & my daughter. Her Grandfather had bees for years & one time her grandmother got stung while she was in the garden. She made him get rid of all of his bees. Her Grandfather passed away a few years back. I think her Grandmother is not to crazy about bees because she got stung.

My chickens & ducks take about 30 minutes of my time each day & I do not hunt so I am home most all the time. My wife is ignorant as far as bees go. Any advice?


More than enough encouragement here and good luck. I am going to assume your wife , for example, does hang around the kitchen, burns herself accidentally while baking, will she give up baking altogether  :?:  Do you see what I am saying here  :?: Please do not deprive yourselves of a lifetime of learning in beekeeping or anything else for that matter. :D

Offline pembroke

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« Reply #14 on: September 23, 2006, 11:54:47 AM »
Hey man: It's all been said so it's up to you now. when I started I asked my wife to go along to help carry some stuff down to the hives. She was more than willing to help. After a couple times she finally got stung.  I thought too much of my wife to see that happen again, so I finished up at hives an went to phone and ordered a suit and veil for her. Still hasn't been stung since and will go whenever I ask for help. GOOD LUCK!!! Hope your wife will come around to wanting to help. Pembroke

Offline Michael Bush

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« Reply #15 on: September 23, 2006, 03:37:21 PM »
From 1974 until now I've had bees in the yard.  Most of that time I was in town on a city lot with one to four hives.  During that time I raised five kids and we now have two grandkids living at our house.  So far one of my sons, one of my daughters and one of my grandsons have been stung.  Once.  The rest have never been stung.  I extract in the kitchen and several of these are from stepping on them barefoot.  My daughter wasn't stung until she was 25.

In contrast, when I was a kid we had NO beehives in the yard (or in town that I knew of).  I got stung several times from stepping barefoot on bees that were on the dandelions.
Michael Bush
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"Everything works if you let it."--Rick Nielsen

Offline Brian D. Bray

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How can I convince my wife.......................
« Reply #16 on: September 23, 2006, 06:47:58 PM »
Well stated.  Beekeeping is like fishing, you don't know if you'll catch anything everytime you go but you keep going.
Life is a school.  What have you learned?   :brian:      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!

Offline Michael Bush

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« Reply #17 on: September 23, 2006, 07:41:23 PM »
On the other hand I never asked my wife to help me with the bees and she never has.  :)
Michael Bush
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