Welcome, Guest

Author Topic: Three Holy men and a bear  (Read 841 times)

Offline iddee

  • Galactic Bee
  • ******
  • Posts: 7666
  • Gender: Male
Three Holy men and a bear
« on: October 21, 2013, 11:39:11 AM »
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students  of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of  Michigan. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't  really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out  into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion. Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
   Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and  had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.  'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began  to read to him from the Catechism.
 Well, that  bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly  grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became  as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first  communion and confirmation.'
   Reverend  Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both  legs in casts, and had an IV drip.  In his best  fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL , brothers, you KNOW that we  Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to  read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with  me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill,  UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him  and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a  lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was
lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said:

"Looking back on it.... circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline edward

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1203
  • Gender: Male
Re: Three Holy men and a bear
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2013, 01:17:39 PM »
 :chop: Oowch :chop:

Offline JPinMO

  • House Bee
  • **
  • Posts: 196
  • Gender: Female
Re: Three Holy men and a bear
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2013, 02:59:31 AM »
Iddee, where do you get this stuff? On second thought, maybe I don't want to know....

"Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters
cannot be trusted in large ones either."  Albert Einstein

Offline RHBee

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1095
  • Gender: Male
  • That's my pooch.
Re: Re: Three Holy men and a bear
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2013, 08:22:38 AM »
Now that's funny. The mental picture it draws could scar the mind.;D

Offline rwlaw

  • House Bee
  • **
  • Posts: 318
  • Gender: Male
Re: Three Holy men and a bear
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2013, 07:44:18 PM »
Can't ever say that bk'n ain't a learning experience!