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Author Topic: Three Holy men and a bear  (Read 553 times)
iddee
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Location: Randleman, NC


« on: October 21, 2013, 10:39:11 AM »

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students  of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of  Michigan. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't  really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out  into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion. Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
   
   Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and  had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.  'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began  to read to him from the Catechism.
 Well, that  bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly  grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became  as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first  communion and confirmation.'
   
   Reverend  Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both  legs in casts, and had an IV drip.  In his best  fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL , brothers, you KNOW that we  Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to  read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with  me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill,  UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him  and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a  lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.
   Hallelujah!
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was
lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said:

"Looking back on it.... circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
edward
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FEED ME HONEY or I`ll smash your screen !


« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2013, 12:17:39 PM »

 chop chop Oowch chop chop
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JPinMO
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« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2013, 01:59:31 AM »

Iddee, where do you get this stuff? On second thought, maybe I don't want to know....

 jaw drop
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Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters
cannot be trusted in large ones either. – Albert Einstein
RHBee
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That's my pooch.


« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2013, 07:22:38 AM »

Now that's funny. The mental picture it draws could scar the mind.Grin
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Later,
Ray
rwlaw
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« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2013, 06:44:18 PM »

 grin
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Can't ever say that bk'n ain't a learning experience!
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