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Author Topic: The ladies are gonna kill me.  (Read 1355 times)
iddee
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« on: January 25, 2013, 03:20:17 PM »

A pastor was recently fitted for dentures. The first Sunday after getting them he only preached for 10 mins.The second Sunday he preached for 20 mins. On the third Sunday he preached for over 2 1/2 hrs. When asked why he said that on the first Sunday his gums hurt, the second Sunday he was having trouble keeping his dentures in place, the third Sunday he had picked up his wife's dentures by mistake and just couldn't stop talking.
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
tefer2
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« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2013, 03:24:51 PM »

You're a brave soul! applause
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divemaster1963
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Location: Gray, Ga. USA.

God Protect and watch over our sons and daughters.


« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2013, 10:59:37 PM »

 drowning soapbox my wide says

but I think shes thinking  tumbleweed wierd thread

John


P.S. I got to go get my bed made in the dog house now. evil

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Lone
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« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2013, 06:25:49 AM »

Quote
P.S. I got to go get my bed made in the dog house now.

It's terrific you are handy with construction work, John.  I can imagine your doghouse is well built with all the features needed for comfort, and probably even a little fridge to keep the bones she throws you cool.

Lone
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Intheswamp
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« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2013, 04:29:13 PM »

drowning soapbox my wide says

but I think shes thinking  tumbleweed wierd thread

John


P.S. I got to go get my bed made in the dog house now. evil
Forget about the joke, when she sees you called her "wide" you're gonna need a fox hole rather than that doghouse 'cause it ain't gonna be purdy!!!!  shocked

Ed
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www.beeweather.com 
American blood spilled to protect the freedom and peace of people all over the world.  320,000 USA casualties in WWI, 1,076,000 USA casualties in WWII, 128,000 USA casualties in the Korean War, 211,000 casualties in the Vietnam "conflict", 57,000 USA casualties in "War on Terror".  Benghazi, Libya, 13 USA casualties. These figures don't include 70,000 MIA.  But, the leaders of one political party of the United States of America continue to make the statement..."What difference does it make?".

"We can't expect the American People to jump from Capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving them small doses of Socialism, until they awaken one day to find that they have Communism."..."The press is our chief ideological weapon." - Nikita Khrushchev
divemaster1963
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God Protect and watch over our sons and daughters.


« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2013, 10:19:50 PM »

drowning soapbox my wide says

but I think shes thinking  tumbleweed wierd thread

John


P.S. I got to go get my bed made in the dog house now. evil

Forget about the joke, when she sees you called her "wide" you're gonna need a fox hole rather than that doghouse 'cause it ain't gonna be purdy!!!!  shocked

Ed


Dange I forgot the spell check!

Check this house out


It had heat and a front poarh. grin

John
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iddee
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« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2013, 10:45:41 PM »

Not bad. All it needs is a 12 pack and you will be all set.
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
sawdstmakr
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Location: Jacksonville FL


« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2013, 10:55:51 PM »

drowning soapbox my wide says

but I think shes thinking  tumbleweed wierd thread

John


P.S. I got to go get my bed made in the dog house now. evil

Forget about the joke, when she sees you called her "wide" you're gonna need a fox hole rather than that doghouse 'cause it ain't gonna be purdy!!!!  shocked

Ed


Dange I forgot the spell check!

Check this house out


It had heat and a front poarh. grin

John


Wouldn't have helped John, you spelled wide correctly.    grin
Jim
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divemaster1963
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Location: Gray, Ga. USA.

God Protect and watch over our sons and daughters.


« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2013, 11:05:24 PM »

Not bad. All it needs is a 12 pack and you will be all set.
That's in the basment downstairs under the steps in the Male only cave. ARH ARH.
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Intheswamp
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« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2013, 09:10:58 AM »

Check this house out

It had heat and a front poarh. grin

John

Nice, even has a kitchen.  But...does it have a trapdoor going down to your man cave...she ain't gonna let your paws in the house when the "wide" puppy poop hits the fan.  grin

Jim, nice catch on the spell checker, maybe she'll give him a gold star for spelling that he can put inside his new cubicle.  laugh

Ed
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www.beeweather.com 
American blood spilled to protect the freedom and peace of people all over the world.  320,000 USA casualties in WWI, 1,076,000 USA casualties in WWII, 128,000 USA casualties in the Korean War, 211,000 casualties in the Vietnam "conflict", 57,000 USA casualties in "War on Terror".  Benghazi, Libya, 13 USA casualties. These figures don't include 70,000 MIA.  But, the leaders of one political party of the United States of America continue to make the statement..."What difference does it make?".

"We can't expect the American People to jump from Capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving them small doses of Socialism, until they awaken one day to find that they have Communism."..."The press is our chief ideological weapon." - Nikita Khrushchev
AllenF
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Location: Hiram, Georgia


« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2013, 05:32:04 PM »

 grin
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