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Author Topic: The ladies are gonna kill me.  (Read 1792 times)

Offline iddee

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The ladies are gonna kill me.
« on: January 25, 2013, 04:20:17 PM »
A pastor was recently fitted for dentures. The first Sunday after getting them he only preached for 10 mins.The second Sunday he preached for 20 mins. On the third Sunday he preached for over 2 1/2 hrs. When asked why he said that on the first Sunday his gums hurt, the second Sunday he was having trouble keeping his dentures in place, the third Sunday he had picked up his wife's dentures by mistake and just couldn't stop talking.
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline tefer2

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Re: The ladies are gonna kill me.
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2013, 04:24:51 PM »
You're a brave soul! X:X

Offline divemaster1963

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Re: The ladies are gonna kill me.
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2013, 11:59:37 PM »
 :drowning: :soapbox: my wide says

but I think shes thinking  :tumbleweed: :wierd:

John


P.S. I got to go get my bed made in the dog house now. :evil:


Offline Lone

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Re: The ladies are gonna kill me.
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2013, 07:25:49 AM »
Quote
P.S. I got to go get my bed made in the dog house now.

It's terrific you are handy with construction work, John.  I can imagine your doghouse is well built with all the features needed for comfort, and probably even a little fridge to keep the bones she throws you cool.

Lone

Offline Intheswamp

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Re: The ladies are gonna kill me.
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2013, 05:29:13 PM »
:drowning: :soapbox: my wide says

but I think shes thinking  :tumbleweed: :wierd:

John


P.S. I got to go get my bed made in the dog house now. :evil:
Forget about the joke, when she sees you called her "wide" you're gonna need a fox hole rather than that doghouse 'cause it ain't gonna be purdy!!!!  :shock:

Ed
www.beeweather.com 
American blood spilled to protect the freedom and peace of people all over the world.  320,000 USA casualties in WWI, 1,076,000 USA casualties in WWII, 128,000 USA casualties in the Korean War, 211,000 casualties in the Vietnam "conflict", 57,000 USA casualties in "War on Terror".  Benghazi, Libya, 13 USA casualties. These figures don't include 70,000 MIA.  But, the leaders of one political party of the United States of America continue to make the statement..."What difference does it make?".

"We can't expect the American People to jump from Capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving them small doses of Socialism, until they awaken one day to find that they have Communism."..."The press is our chief ideological weapon." - Nikita Khrushchev

"Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours." - Yogi Berra

Offline divemaster1963

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Re: The ladies are gonna kill me.
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2013, 11:19:50 PM »
:drowning: :soapbox: my wide says

but I think shes thinking  :tumbleweed: :wierd:

John


P.S. I got to go get my bed made in the dog house now. :evil:
Forget about the joke, when she sees you called her "wide" you're gonna need a fox hole rather than that doghouse 'cause it ain't gonna be purdy!!!!  :shock:

Ed

Dange I forgot the spell check!

Check this house out


It had heat and a front poarh. :-D

John

Offline iddee

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Re: The ladies are gonna kill me.
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2013, 11:45:41 PM »
Not bad. All it needs is a 12 pack and you will be all set.
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Online sawdstmakr

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Re: The ladies are gonna kill me.
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2013, 11:55:51 PM »
:drowning: :soapbox: my wide says

but I think shes thinking  :tumbleweed: :wierd:

John


P.S. I got to go get my bed made in the dog house now. :evil:
Forget about the joke, when she sees you called her "wide" you're gonna need a fox hole rather than that doghouse 'cause it ain't gonna be purdy!!!!  :shock:

Ed

Dange I forgot the spell check!

Check this house out


It had heat and a front poarh. :-D

John

Wouldn't have helped John, you spelled wide correctly.    :-D
Jim
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed.  If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."--Mark Twain

Offline divemaster1963

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Re: The ladies are gonna kill me.
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2013, 12:05:24 AM »
Not bad. All it needs is a 12 pack and you will be all set.
That's in the basment downstairs under the steps in the Male only cave. ARH ARH.

Offline Intheswamp

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Re: The ladies are gonna kill me.
« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2013, 10:10:58 AM »
Check this house out

It had heat and a front poarh. :-D

John
Nice, even has a kitchen.  But...does it have a trapdoor going down to your man cave...she ain't gonna let your paws in the house when the "wide" puppy poop hits the fan.  :-D

Jim, nice catch on the spell checker, maybe she'll give him a gold star for spelling that he can put inside his new cubicle.  :laugh:

Ed
www.beeweather.com 
American blood spilled to protect the freedom and peace of people all over the world.  320,000 USA casualties in WWI, 1,076,000 USA casualties in WWII, 128,000 USA casualties in the Korean War, 211,000 casualties in the Vietnam "conflict", 57,000 USA casualties in "War on Terror".  Benghazi, Libya, 13 USA casualties. These figures don't include 70,000 MIA.  But, the leaders of one political party of the United States of America continue to make the statement..."What difference does it make?".

"We can't expect the American People to jump from Capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving them small doses of Socialism, until they awaken one day to find that they have Communism."..."The press is our chief ideological weapon." - Nikita Khrushchev

"Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours." - Yogi Berra

Offline AllenF

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Re: The ladies are gonna kill me.
« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2013, 06:32:04 PM »
 :-D

 

anything