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Author Topic: THE COYOTE  (Read 1976 times)
iddee
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« on: January 04, 2013, 10:25:29 AM »

THE COYOTE

CALIFORNIA :

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and
then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is
natural.

2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote and bills
the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

4. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts
a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

5. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote
awareness program" for residents of the area.

6. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat
rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

7. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping theattack. The
State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special
training re: the nature of coyotes.

8. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against
the State.


IDAHO :

The Governor of Idaho is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote
jumps out and attacks his dog.

 1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps
jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

 2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

 And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Idaho is not.

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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
kathyp
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« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2013, 10:44:45 AM »

that's funny....and sadly pretty true!
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
sawdstmakr
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« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2013, 11:35:52 AM »

I like it so much, I stole it and sent it on the email highway.
Jim
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tefer2
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« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2013, 12:04:31 PM »

 th_thumbsupup
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carlfaba10t
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« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2013, 12:12:09 PM »

My bear dog would just rip the coyote to shreds before i could get my 357 mag. out of the holster! evil
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Carl-I have done so much with so little for so long i can now do something with nothing!
BlueBee
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« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2013, 12:38:16 PM »

California economy = 9th largest in the world.  Ahead of whole counties like Russia, Canada, Australia, India, Eastern Europe, etc.

Idaho economy = 195th largest in the world.  Only a couple of small island countries make less.  The largest sector in the Idaho economy is the GOVERNMENT at 14% of economic output.

Thank God we don’t have beeks running our Country  laugh laugh laugh
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iddee
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« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2013, 01:36:17 PM »

""Ahead of whole counties like Russia, Canada, Australia, India, Eastern Europe, etc.""

I didn't know they were counties. I thought they were countries. Maybe it is good "some" beeks aren't running things.
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
BlueBee
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« Reply #7 on: January 06, 2013, 01:48:16 PM »

He he he…when you have to pick on my spelling skills to poke a hole in my arguments, then I know you’re losing the debate.   laugh laugh laugh
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iddee
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« Reply #8 on: January 06, 2013, 03:13:09 PM »

Debate?? What debate. Your refusal to see the truth doesn't constitute a debate.
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
AllenF
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« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2013, 06:31:25 PM »

Bigger is not better.   I would pick Idaho over California any day. 
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BlueBee
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« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2013, 09:23:59 PM »

I'll take Michigan over both of them  grin
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edward
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FEED ME HONEY or I`ll smash your screen !


« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2013, 10:03:34 PM »

He he he…when you have to pick on my spelling skills to poke a hole in my arguments, then I know you’re losing the debate.   laugh laugh laugh

I tnihk I`ll use taht one, since I can spell badly in 2 lgnauages  grin

mvh edward  tongue
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kingbee
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« Reply #12 on: January 08, 2013, 11:07:28 PM »

California economy = 9th largest in the world. ...

Idaho economy = 195th largest in the world.  The largest sector in the Idaho economy is the GOVERNMENT at 14%...


Mark Twain once said, ''There are three types of lies.  Lies, darn lies, and statics."  That is the problem with little snippets of info like the ones posted about the GDP or economy of Idaho being more dependant on government spending than the GDP of California.  California is acually more dependant on government largress than I-dee-ho's econemy is. Just state and local spending makes up almost 20% of California's GDP.

Here are little snippets of date I gleaned from the web (world wide that is)
This data is divided into categories to ,make it easier for you to compare.  No one but the WWW is responsible for its accuracy.

State and local spending.                    CALIFORNIA   %                            IDAHO  %

Type of spending
FY 2011 in billions of dollars                                                                                     

                                                                                           
                                                       % of budget            $$$             %of budget  $$$
Pensions:            8%                      36.3                5%          .6

Health Care: (Medicare)            18%                     79.4      23%        2.7

Education:                   23%                    105.7      27%       3.3      

Police and Fire: (Protection)                11%                47.9        9%       1.1

Transportation:            6%                28.9        9%       1.1

General Government expense:             3%                12.6        4%         .4

Other Types of Government expenses:   15%                  67.1      1.1%       1.4

Interest Expenses:             4%                  7.7        2%        1.3      

Balance: (Cash on Hand)                                      0% (none)                             1.1 billion


http://www.usgovernmentspending.com/piechart_2011_CA_statelocal

http://www.usgovernmentspending.com/piechart_2011_ID_statelocal

So Blue, please explain the $67,100,000,000 in “Other types of Government expenses California sprung for if they are not to cover expenses of the type that iddee mentioned in relation to the coyote

GDP in California = $1,958.9  billion  that is $51,960 per person
GDP in Idaho =  $57.9  billion  that is $36,187 per citizen.
Please explain then why 33% of all Federal Welfare payments go to Californians’ 37,700,000 citizens who make up only 12% of the total US population.
 
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BlueBee
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« Reply #13 on: January 09, 2013, 03:36:21 AM »

So Blue, please explain the $67,100,000,000 in “Other types of Government expenses California sprung for if they are not to cover expenses of the type that iddee mentioned in relation to the coyote
I don't know.  Why don't you drive down to Bama some weekend and ask them?  They're spending 12% of their budget on that according to your web source.

Quote
Please explain then why 33% of all Federal Welfare payments go to Californians’ 37,700,000 citizens who make up only 12% of the total US population.
Sounds like your calculator is broke again.  There is only 4.3 million people on welfare.  Total yearly spending on "welfare" is $132 billion.  How much are we going to spend on Super Storm Sandy this year?  I'm not claiming we're wasting money on Sandy cleanup, I'm just trying to put things in PERSPECTIVE for our conservative beeks.  
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kingbee
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« Reply #14 on: January 09, 2013, 02:11:32 PM »

The city of Detroit gives new meaning to the old saw, "Give it back to the Indians!"  Detroit is fast reverting to a wilderness.  In 1950 Detroit, Michigan (you have heard of that city, right?) was the number one city in the whole United States in per capital wealth.  Furthermore Detroit (Warren County Michigan) had a population of about 1.6 million citizens, now it's population is fast falling to the 600.000 mark.  A loss of 900,000 citizens.

After years of Democrat Party misrule, high taxes, and Progressive Political Policies, the per capital income of the motor city is falling faster than Edsel sales.  Today instead of ranking number 1, Detroit, Michigan ranks number 359 out of 366 American cities studied.  Less some of you think that this startling reduction (not redistribution) of wealth is an aberration, it was reported by this Michigan community organizing group.
http://www.crcmich.org/column/?p=88

Will the last person to leave Detroit, Michigan please turn out the ligh.... better make that blow out the candle.
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iddee
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« Reply #15 on: January 09, 2013, 06:19:41 PM »

WAY TO GO, KINGBEE. Keep it up.

Bluebee, wish you were here tonight. Had deep fried gator, onion rings, and home made hushpuppies. MMMMMMM GOOD!
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
sterling
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« Reply #16 on: January 09, 2013, 06:25:21 PM »

WAY TO GO, KINGBEE. Keep it up.

Bluebee, wish you were here tonight. Had deep fried gator, onion rings, and home made hushpuppies. MMMMMMM GOOD!
And surely some sweet tea.
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iddee
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« Reply #17 on: January 09, 2013, 06:28:02 PM »

Not tonight, Sterling. Miller Genuine draft instead. Tea is for summer.
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
kingbee
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« Reply #18 on: January 10, 2013, 02:02:49 AM »

... Miller Genuine... Tea is for summer.

I was always partial to PBR, Weidermans or 'Ollie' (Olympia) or even good old fashion Carling Black Label, Blatz, or Long Star Beer.  Even Falls City was more drinkable than Miller or any of the Bud offerings.

This is why there are so many new brews on the market.  Most beer drinkers some how know that they have lost their favorite malted beverage and are looking for that perfect balance of sweetness, bitterness and a good mouth feel that a good beer once offered.

There is no so called beer brewed in the USA today that can hold a church key to any of the above brews.  The only beer that even comes close is Red Stripe Ale (@ $10 a six pack)  But Red Stripe is brewed the other side of Cuba.  It's enough to make a guy give up on liquid bread and eat the dry kind.

I have heard though that both AB and Miller are in trouble and just maybe they are looking at going spigots up.  Hey, a guy can still dream can't he?

Sorry I Hijacked your thread iddee, now back to Blue Bashing.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2013, 05:19:19 PM by kingbee » Logged
BlueBee
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« Reply #19 on: January 10, 2013, 02:12:08 AM »

I think beer and gator sounds pretty good!  applause 

You know, I just don’t drink enough beer anymore. Sad  I guess I’m getting old.  I kind of wimp out and go for the Merlot anymore. 

No....we don’t need to get back to Blue bashing. grin

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