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Author Topic: Dear Red States  (Read 1768 times)
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« on: November 18, 2012, 08:05:30 AM »

    
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   Author    Topic: Letter to red states  (Read 169 times)
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Letter to red states
« on: November 17, 2012, 12:46:35 PM »
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        Dear Red States:

        We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've
        decided we're leaving.

        We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other
        Blue States with us.

        In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon,
        Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the
        Northeast.

        We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to
        the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

        To sum up briefly:
        You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

        We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

        We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd
        Akin.

        We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

        We get* Intel* and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

        We get Harvard (*Princeton, Penn, Haverford, Colgate, U of R)*,. You get
        Ole' Miss.

        We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

        You get Alabama.

        We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay
        their fair share.

        Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
        Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
        moms.

        With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the
        country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of
        the nation's fresh fruit, *95% of America's quality wines* (you can serve
        French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high
        tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods,
        sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard,
        Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

        With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans
        and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly
        100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists,
        virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
        Clemson and the University of Georgia.

        We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

        38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a
        whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty
        or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was
        involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with
        higher morals then we lefties.

        We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.

        Sincerely,

        Citizen of the Enlightened States of America
   
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2012, 01:18:12 PM »
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 grin
   
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2012, 01:22:09 PM »
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Y'all going to be cold and hungry.



Steve
   
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2012, 01:45:00 PM »
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All I can say,...You can have Ca. Good luck!
   
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2012, 03:40:40 PM »
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go for it.  we get the people who know how to take care of themselves.  i think steve has it right.   grin
   
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“In the end, more than freedom, they wanted security. They wanted a comfortable life, and they lost it all – security, comfort, and freedom. When the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but for society to give to them, when the freedom they wished for most was freedom from responsibility, then Athens ceased to be free and was never free again.”

― Edward Gibbon
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2012, 03:52:53 PM »
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Sure sounds like a winner to me!  Don't let the door hit you on the way out.   We will defend our borders though, so if you want to emigrate, be aware we say the pledge allegiance and will teach our children about the constitution.  Since you don't like it or use it, we will keep the whole thing!  We will teach our children to respect their nation and respect other peoples right to practice a religion and we will allow free speech.  The price of food just went up for you.  I guess personally I can make do very well with good beer and bourbon.  I don't think I will need to  be drinking the cheese eating surrender monkies production.  Scuppernog wine will do fine too.  I hope your windmills and solar panels work out well because we have the natural gas and oil.  Montana, Wyoming and North Dakota have a thousand years of coal if we need it and the Bakken will keep us in oil long after you are gone.  We can also drill in our huge coastal waters and keep down shipping costs from northern Real America and that is where refineries are.  Since you get to keep  the green fools and the EPA, we can build more now.  I am sure you won't want to burn your low sulpher coal or fracture shale thousands of feet below the water table for natural gas.   I just feel sorry for all those children  starving to death in the dark.  We probably will adopt any you haven't aborted.  I don't thing Real America will be big on the grandchildren murdering business.  We will leave that to you elites.  Farewell!  It's been real and it's been fun.-----  I think I'll have gulf shrimp and Alaskan King Crab and good beef tonight while you are savoring your tofu. 
   
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2012, 04:10:11 PM »
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+, since you don't like it much anyway, we'll take the constitution off your hands!
   
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“In the end, more than freedom, they wanted security. They wanted a comfortable life, and they lost it all – security, comfort, and freedom. When the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but for society to give to them, when the freedom they wished for most was freedom from responsibility, then Athens ceased to be free and was never free again.”

― Edward Gibbon
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2012, 05:18:14 PM »
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Sounds wonderful, but why not make it simple and say we get the groceries and you will take the trash and crap the next day. That's the way I read your post.  grin
   
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2012, 05:57:54 PM »
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State    Federal Spending per Dollar of Federal Taxes
New Mexico    $2.03
Mississippi    $2.02
Alaska    $1.84
Louisiana    $1.78
West Virginia    $1.76
North Dakota    $1.68
Alabama    $1.66
South Dakota    $1.53
Kentucky    $1.51
Virginia    $1.51
Montana    $1.47
Hawaii    $1.44
Maine    $1.41
Arkansas    $1.41
Oklahoma    $1.36
South Carolina    $1.35
Missouri    $1.32
Maryland    $1.30
Tennessee    $1.27
Idaho    $1.21
Arizona    $1.19
Kansas    $1.12
Wyoming    $1.11
Iowa    $1.10
Nebraska    $1.10
Vermont    $1.08
North Carolina    $1.08
Pennsylvania    $1.07
Utah    $1.07
Indiana    $1.05
Ohio    $1.05
Georgia    $1.01
Rhode Island    $1.00
Florida    $0.97
Texas    $0.94
Oregon    $0.93
Michigan    $0.92
Washington    $0.88
Wisconsin    $0.86
Massachusetts    $0.82
Colorado    $0.81
New York    $0.79
California    $0.78
Delaware    $0.77
Illinois    $0.75
Minnesota    $0.72
New Hampshire    $0.71
Connecticut    $0.69
Nevada    $0.65
New Jersey    $0.61
District of Columbia    $5.55
   
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2012, 06:17:34 PM »
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Interesting that the trend seems to be that blue states subsidize red states yet red states are the ones always complaining about paying to much taxes.
Cheers,
Drew
   
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #10 on: November 17, 2012, 06:28:22 PM »
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as i skim through there, i'm guessing that's not very up to date.  look at CA, which we know is in pretty bad shape right now.  i'm guessing that's not the current rate of government spending there.    not that it matters.  as pointed out, you make keep your federal dollars and keep your dependent people. since most of your folks are clumped up in cities and don't have a clue how to survive unless the cabs or subway are running, and certainly can't survive any natural disasters, i think we'll be ok.

if you source your data it's helpful.
   
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“In the end, more than freedom, they wanted security. They wanted a comfortable life, and they lost it all – security, comfort, and freedom. When the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but for society to give to them, when the freedom they wished for most was freedom from responsibility, then Athens ceased to be free and was never free again.”

― Edward Gibbon
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #11 on: November 17, 2012, 06:41:03 PM »
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I'm happy myself...been wanting to shoot all these tourists for a long time anyway (why do they call it "tourist season" if we can't shoot 'em?)
   
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"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #12 on: November 17, 2012, 06:47:20 PM »
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We will get rich here in Georgia when we charge a toll on I75 and I95. All those yankees and snowbirds visiting Florida.

Steve
   
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2012, 08:19:54 PM »
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and there is another flaw in the plan.

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/election/2012/countymaprb1024.png

unless you plan on making people stay in your state even if they are red, you are going to be living in your urban clusters with the rest of your state abandoned.
   
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“In the end, more than freedom, they wanted security. They wanted a comfortable life, and they lost it all – security, comfort, and freedom. When the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but for society to give to them, when the freedom they wished for most was freedom from responsibility, then Athens ceased to be free and was never free again.”

― Edward Gibbon
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #14 on: November 17, 2012, 11:55:34 PM »
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OK, now who gets KathyP?  She seems to be living in a blue state.
   
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #15 on: Today at 07:38:45 AM »
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We do. Now see, there's your biggest loss.
   
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Re: Letter to red states
« Reply #16 on: Today at 07:41:42 AM »
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Lets see where the natural resources,coal,oil, will be. And the breadbasket of America. You clowns may need to eat. I can see PA slicing off the eastern 40 miles and taking the rest to a red area. The only blue part of PA is that urban cluster in the east. It really should be part of NJ.
And the idea of being ticked off because we do not drink the kool aid and think for ourselves is your perogative.

The data in the chart is old:
http://taxfoundation.org/article/federal-spending-received-dollar-taxes-paid-state-2005

And yes, I do believe an unborn child should have as equal of protection under the law as a convicted killer does. People asking us to fund abortions at the federal level for purposes of birth control or gender selection are asking for a bit much.
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« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2012, 08:07:41 AM »

Guys I had a browser freeze up and while swirling and clicking my mouse to post a reply I somehow removed the thread. I did manage go back up through the pages and copy what was there. I am going to try to get it restored if I can.
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« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2012, 11:13:03 AM »

Cool, this was fun.
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« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2012, 12:07:49 PM »

i just want to know where i'm going to live!
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

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« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2012, 12:21:34 PM »

Kathy,
To use a map you posted in the other thread,you have a lot of places you can go:
http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/election/2012/countymaprb1024.png
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« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2012, 12:49:06 PM »

Where am I going to live?...I hate to leave Ca.. I live in the Sierras, a beautiful place for me and my bees. The population here just voted themselves (and me) a boatload of NEW! taxes. I'm surrounded. If I shoot up a flare, can someone send a helicopter?
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« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2012, 03:00:31 PM »

i just want to know where i'm going to live!

 laugh laugh laugh laugh  Its a BIG planet.
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« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2012, 03:10:30 PM »

I'll go to a red state.  By the way, the red states get most of the military bases, so they can take what they need from the Blue states who don't like the military and want someone else to die for them so they can have their freedoms.
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« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2012, 07:37:57 PM »

Quote
I hate to leave Ca

there's been talk of splitting the state.  maybe you can work something out?
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
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« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2012, 07:48:30 PM »

i just want to know where i'm going to live!

Easter Island?  Katmandu?  France?
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« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2012, 08:44:35 PM »

They could split Calif. and call the southern half BAJA Mexico...........

On second thought, they could give it to Mexico.
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« Reply #11 on: November 19, 2012, 12:26:47 PM »

Hilarious Smiley Anyone know why so many Federal dollars are going to N. Dakota? That surprised me.
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« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2012, 03:28:42 PM »

Tar sand.
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« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2012, 04:22:05 PM »

At the risk of sounding dense, I don't get how the Feds would be putting money INTO that. I guess I don't understand the whole process. Is it all subsidized by the Feds?
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« Reply #14 on: November 19, 2012, 04:34:53 PM »

There's always Australia,  but they are careful who they let in JPP
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« Reply #15 on: November 20, 2012, 05:48:07 AM »

At the risk of sounding dense, I don't get how the Feds would be putting money INTO that. I guess I don't understand the whole process. Is it all subsidized by the Feds?

In a way I suppose it is.  In reality it is 'us' who subsidies these endeavors, while the profits are handled by the profiteers.  Living in Northern (rural) Wisconsin, we've seen several of our neighbors head to the Dakotas and Canada.  Truck hauling alone can bring up to 80K a year.  

Our oldest son at 35 (w/ wife and 2 kids) is seriously thinking about leaving his career in liqueur sales (a pretty secure job in our part of the world)........for the money he can make in the Dakotas and Manitoba.  They're still hiring for the interested.

ALSO:  N. Dakota has some of our poorest citizens residing on several Indian Reservations which are federally subsidized, but I suspect its the TAR SAND.
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« Reply #16 on: November 20, 2012, 08:01:04 AM »

Hey, I'VE thought about heading to N.Dakota for a few years Smiley I just didn't (and really still don't) understand what federal money would be pouring into what I've thought of as a pretty fiscally responsible (and underpopulated) state.
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« Reply #17 on: November 20, 2012, 08:12:24 AM »

The Badlands are amazing  cool.  Don't miss them.

If resources (and age) weren't an issue I could spend a year wandering about the Badlands.  I have spent a month though awhile back, and can close my eyes and imagine it still  Smiley  We have Relations that live at Rose Bud Rez and Pine Ridge I think, at least they 'were' there.  

Personally, I'd stay away from the 'extracting' taking place, unless I was protesting  shocked

We like Wisconsin just fine.
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