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Author Topic: JP's security alarm  (Read 1653 times)
iddee
Galactic Bee
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Posts: 6204

Location: Randleman, NC


« on: June 20, 2012, 09:37:33 PM »

HOW TO INSTALL A JP HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of ‘Guns & Ammo’
magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Betty Sue, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and
messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard
to tell
from all the blood.

Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be
rightback.

- JP
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
lenape13
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Location: Belle Vernon, PA

We survive together, or not at all!


« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2012, 11:35:10 PM »

 applause
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kathyp
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Location: boring, oregon


« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2012, 11:47:35 PM »

 goodpost
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
Larry Bees
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« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2012, 02:06:27 PM »

That sounds like what JP would do!

 lau lau lau lau lau
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tefer2
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Location: Kalamazoo,MI


« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2012, 02:16:35 PM »

 th_thumbsupup
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AllenF
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Location: Hiram, Georgia


« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2012, 04:18:53 PM »

 grin
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Michael Bush
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Location: Nehawka, NE


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« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2012, 08:14:06 PM »

The old story that used to go around was some people who had a cabin in the mountains.  They really didn't mind people using it, but when they posted things like "enjoy the cabin, but please clean up after yourself" they would come back to find the place trashed.  Finally they tried just locking it and people would kick in the door and still trash it.  They got an NRA sticker and put it on the front door.  Then they put a note on the door that said "Jake, I'm up in the north meadow hunting sheep.  Be back when I get one" and no one ever broke in again.
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Michael Bush
My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
-------------------
"Everything works if you let it."--Rick Nielsen
JP
The Swarm King
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I like doing cut-outs, but I love catching swarms!


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« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2012, 08:38:28 AM »

I may need to get a sign that says if the dogs don't get ya the four foot lizard, three snakes and eight scorpions will likely take up the slack.  grin


...JP
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"Good friends are as sweet as honey" Winne the Pooh

My pictures can be viewed at http://picasaweb.google.com/pyxicephalus
and
http://picasaweb.google.com/112138792165178452970

My Youtube videos can be viewed here: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=JPthebeeman&aq=f

My website JPthebeeman.com http://www.jpthebeeman.com/jpthebeeman/
sawdstmakr
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Location: Jacksonville FL


« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2012, 12:02:29 PM »

My work shop has large spider webs in them with large shed spider shells. I never clean them off. Never had any one try to break in through the windows either.  grin
Jim
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"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed.  If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."--Mark Twain
colbees
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Location: Amsterdam, New York


« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2012, 12:16:57 PM »

 grin
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A swarm of bees in May is worth a load of hay; A swarm of bees in June is worth a silver spoon; A swarm of bees in July isn't worth a fly.
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