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Author Topic: Gender jokes  (Read 1058 times)
D Semple
House Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 495

Location: Overland Park, Kansas


« on: March 22, 2012, 02:20:06 PM »

- Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn’t drive.
No further testing is planned.


- A man goes to the police station wanting to speak to the burglar who broke into his house the night before. ‘You’ll get your chance in court,’ says the desk sergeant.
‘No, no, no! says the man. ‘I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!’


- A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be eight again." she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, and her favorite M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size!!!!!!!

- Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
   A: He buys two cases of beer.
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Larry Bees
Field Bee
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Posts: 711

Location: Mims, Florida


« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2012, 03:22:11 PM »

 lau
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AllenF
Galactic Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 8116

Location: Hiram, Georgia


« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2012, 08:40:08 PM »

 grin
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hardwood
Galactic Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 3482


Location: Osteen, Fl (just south of Daytona)

Alysian Apiaries youtube.com/MrBeedude


« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2012, 09:03:13 PM »

 grin
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"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907
tefer2
Super Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 2159

Location: Kalamazoo,MI


« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2012, 11:21:19 PM »

 grin
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