A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day
and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her
"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and colour
dress are you looking for?"
The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil."
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the
wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for
brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more
innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?"
"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I
can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. "Believe it or
not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.
"You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we
were checking into our hotel.
"My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our
way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never
spoke to each other again."
"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.
"That one was a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four years,
he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be,
but nothing ever happened."