In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels , where there is a large German-speaking population.
One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.
The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen." Which means: "Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have s#*t in it."
The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for Obama. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."
The rancher replied: "Use both hands."