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Author Topic: Blonde in Methodist Church  (Read 2123 times)

Online iddee

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Blonde in Methodist Church
« on: March 06, 2012, 06:34:39 PM »
Subject: Blonde in Methodist Church
  A local, North Carolina preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am offended and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family."
 No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."
  Again all was quiet.
Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan.
 I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline AllenF

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Re: Blonde in Methodist Church
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2012, 07:20:46 PM »

Offline beee farmer

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Re: Blonde in Methodist Church
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2012, 11:38:09 PM »
"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do"  Benjamin Franklin

Offline hardwood

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Re: Blonde in Methodist Church
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2012, 11:52:32 PM »
 :lau: :lau: :lau:
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907

Offline divemaster1963

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Re: Blonde in Methodist Church
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2012, 09:21:36 PM »
 :jawdrop: :jail: :buttkick: :rant:

Offline jredburn

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Re: Blonde in Methodist Church
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2012, 09:05:02 PM »
I know that fella.

Offline eddieobees

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Re: Blonde in Methodist Church
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2012, 07:21:28 PM »
Bumping along in my first year . . . http://eddieobees.blogspot.com/