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Author Topic: Blonde Joke  (Read 2001 times)

Offline AllenF

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Blonde Joke
« on: December 08, 2011, 09:30:02 PM »
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?” The blond replies…..”Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

Offline BlueBee

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2011, 12:21:29 AM »
That is funny! 

It’s been a few years since I’ve been to NYC, but I can’t imagine the parking problem has gotten any better.

Offline Country Heart

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2011, 03:43:11 AM »

     X:X

Offline sawdstmakr

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2011, 12:31:24 PM »
Not so blonde is she?  :)
Jim
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed.  If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."--Mark Twain

Offline Larry Bees

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2011, 04:41:42 PM »
 :lau: :lau: :lau:

Offline Intheswamp

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2011, 06:25:50 PM »
Smart blonde?  Well, yeah, but there's always the blonde mortician joke that balances it back out....
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American blood spilled to protect the freedom and peace of people all over the world.  320,000 USA casualties in WWI, 1,076,000 USA casualties in WWII, 128,000 USA casualties in the Korean War, 211,000 casualties in the Vietnam "conflict", 57,000 USA casualties in "War on Terror".  Benghazi, Libya, 13 USA casualties. These figures don't include 70,000 MIA.  But, the leaders of one political party of the United States of America continue to make the statement..."What difference does it make?".

"We can't expect the American People to jump from Capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving them small doses of Socialism, until they awaken one day to find that they have Communism."..."The press is our chief ideological weapon." - Nikita Khrushchev

"Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours." - Yogi Berra

Offline AllenF

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2011, 09:06:11 PM »
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check. 'There's no charge,' she says. 'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

Offline Sparky

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2011, 10:05:18 PM »
That's nasty FUNNY !!! :-D

Offline Intheswamp

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2011, 10:48:52 PM »
Thanks Allen! 
www.beeweather.com 
American blood spilled to protect the freedom and peace of people all over the world.  320,000 USA casualties in WWI, 1,076,000 USA casualties in WWII, 128,000 USA casualties in the Korean War, 211,000 casualties in the Vietnam "conflict", 57,000 USA casualties in "War on Terror".  Benghazi, Libya, 13 USA casualties. These figures don't include 70,000 MIA.  But, the leaders of one political party of the United States of America continue to make the statement..."What difference does it make?".

"We can't expect the American People to jump from Capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving them small doses of Socialism, until they awaken one day to find that they have Communism."..."The press is our chief ideological weapon." - Nikita Khrushchev

"Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours." - Yogi Berra

Offline beee farmer

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #9 on: December 10, 2011, 01:10:41 AM »
maybe bleach blonds>?
"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do"  Benjamin Franklin

Offline Larry Bees

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2011, 10:56:13 AM »
Oh man! I didn't see that coming! Very funny! Larry

Offline sawdstmakr

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #11 on: December 11, 2011, 06:18:56 AM »
As my daughter used to say "TMI". :'(
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed.  If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."--Mark Twain

Offline Sundog

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2011, 11:02:52 PM »
Watch out for those blondes.  Often there is a brunette hiding underneath.

Offline AllenF

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Re: Blonde Joke
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2011, 09:18:56 AM »
So true.