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Author Topic: If Abbot and Costello were alive today .......  (Read 555 times)

Offline dING

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If Abbot and Costello were alive today .......
« on: November 23, 2011, 06:04:57 PM »
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today,

their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?'

might have turned out something like this:

 

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

 

 ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

 COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and  I'm thinking about buying a computer.

 ABBOTT: Mac?

 COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

 ABBOTT: Your computer?

 COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

 ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

 COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

 COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

 ABBOTT: I just did.

 COSTELLO: You just did what?

 ABBOTT: Recommend something.

 COSTELLO: You recommended something?

 ABBOTT: Yes.

 COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

 COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

 COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

 ABBOTT: I just did.

 COSTELLO: You just did what?

 ABBOTT: Recommend something.

 COSTELLO: You recommended something?

 ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

 ABBOTT: Yes.

 COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

 ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

 ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

 COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

 ABBOTT: Word.

 COSTELLO: What word?

 ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

 ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

 COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

 ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

 COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'W' if you don't start with some straight answers.

COSTELLO: What about financial bookkeeping? Do you have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

 COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

 ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

 ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

 COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

 ABBOTT: Yes.  At no extra charge.

 COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

 ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

 ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

 COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

 

(A few days later)

 

 ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

 COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'
Getting older dont make ya smarter just more cunning

Offline Jim 134

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Re: If Abbot and Costello were alive today .......
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2011, 07:01:03 PM »
 :lau: :lau: :lau:


  I like it


    BEE HAPPY Jim 134 :)
"Tell me and I'll forget,show me and I may  remember,involve me and I'll understand"
        Chinese Proverb

"The farmer is the only man in our economy who buys everything at retail, sells everything at wholesale, and pays the freight both ways."
 John F. Kennedy
Franklin County Beekeepers Association MA. http://www.franklinmabeekeepers.org/

 

anything