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Author Topic: The Divorce  (Read 1468 times)

Offline iddee

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The Divorce
« on: September 21, 2011, 09:53:58 PM »

Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound maybe this would be a solution we could live with.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT -- This is so incredibly well-put, and I can hardly believe it's by a young person, a student!! Whatever he runs for, I'll vote for him!
* * * * * * * * * *
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, WalMart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain.. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

20. We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra Steisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S.: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.

Forward this every time you get it! Let's keep this going; maybe some of it will start sinking in!

If you can't stand behind our Military, Please feel free to stand in front of them!
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline AllenF

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Re: The Divorce
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2011, 10:52:34 PM »
 X:X

Offline bulldog

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Re: The Divorce
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2011, 12:46:32 AM »
 X:X
Confucius say "He who stand on toilet is high on pot"

Offline mushmushi

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Re: The Divorce
« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2011, 01:33:06 AM »
You just described fascism.

The only thing missing is mass killing an ethnic/religious group, you know, to compete with the other fascist regimes.

By the way, you have so much in common with the Taliban (except for their religion fairy tale beliefs).

Seriously, give Mein Kamph a read; you'll see what I'm talking about.

Offline iddee

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Re: The Divorce
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2011, 10:00:48 AM »
""Seriously, give Mein Kamph a read; you'll see what I'm talking about.""

One of my favorite books.
First, make a plan.
Second, tell the world your plan.
Third, carry out your plan.
It came as near working as anything in History.

Why, because the people thought they were getting a free ride, so wouldn't do anything to stop it.
Now you are seeing it being repeated in the good ol' U.S.A.
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline Scadsobees

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Re: The Divorce
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2011, 10:21:31 PM »
Gosh iddee, do you sleep with your towel on your head too? :-D

It is all clear to me now...leaving people with the crap that they want and a them sink into the mire that they are demanding is fascism!  Wow, I never knew that!

Keep fighting the le' battle there, Comrade mushi!
Rick

Offline mushmushi

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Re: The Divorce
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2011, 09:43:02 AM »
"When the sage points at the moon, all that the fool sees is the finger."

Offline iddee

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Re: The Divorce
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2011, 11:26:31 AM »
"Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference".
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline Irwin

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Re: The Divorce
« Reply #8 on: September 27, 2011, 06:54:49 PM »
Iddee I see you found another friend. :-D
 :-D
Fight organized crime!  Re-elect no one.

 

anything