The Hotel Bill
An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant
birthday by staying overnight in one of Chicago 's most expensive hotel.
When she checked the out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice
hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight
stop without even breakfast."
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on
speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel
has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available
'But I didn't use them," she said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel
shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York ,
Los Angeles , and Las Vegas performing here," the Manager said.
"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"
The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. " But madam, this check is only made out for $50.00." '
'That's correct. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
Don't mess with Senior Citizens
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"