hankdog1
Field Bee
 
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Location: Cedar Bluff, VA
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« on: August 12, 2011, 01:59:19 AM » |
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See that people are doing this with home towns on facebook and thought it might be a good starter for funny stories about our beekeeping adventures.
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Take me to the land of milk and honey!!!
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bee-nuts
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« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2011, 05:49:26 AM » |
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This has been done here before but Ill do er again
You know your a beekeeper if someone tells you to show up in your best suit and you show up in your bee suit.
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The moment a person forms a theory, his imagination sees in every object only the traits which favor that theory
Thomas Jefferson
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VolunteerK9
Super Bee
   
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Location: Southeast Tennessee
Gamecock fan in UT land.
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« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2011, 07:05:40 AM » |
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You friends start avoiding you because all you ever talk about is stinging insects, flows and dearths.
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JP
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« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2011, 09:17:57 AM » |
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Been a few years for this topic but I'll play.  To me one of the funny ones is being encouraged to pull over because your truck has a ton of smoke coming out the rear bed area.  ...JP
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mushmushi
House Bee

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Location: Quebec, Canada
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« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2011, 09:28:07 AM » |
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You know your a beekeeper if... you start talking about flowers or the lack of them.
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mikecva
House Bee

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Location: Northern Virginia USA
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« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2011, 01:20:07 PM » |
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You know you are a beekeeper if . . . you are happy to see flowering weeds growing near your house.
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. . Listen to others but make your own decisions. That way you own the results. . .
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mushmushi
House Bee

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Location: Quebec, Canada
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« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2011, 03:25:46 PM » |
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You know your a beekeeper if... you have clover instead of grass in your yard 
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bulldog
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Location: Chenango County, NY
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« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2011, 03:30:57 PM » |
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you know you're a beekeeper when you spend all of your free time with a bunch of girls but never seem to get any ummm.... honey.
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Confucius say "He who stand on toilet is high on pot"
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hankdog1
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Location: Cedar Bluff, VA
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« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2011, 03:52:25 PM » |
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Didn't know it had been done hadn't ever seen the post
You might be a beekeeper if ... you've ever been stung under the eye get a shinner and blame your wife for it.
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Take me to the land of milk and honey!!!
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annette
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« Reply #9 on: August 13, 2011, 01:56:47 AM » |
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You end up with all sorts of fuzzy bee dolls and paraphernalia from co workers.
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yockey5
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Location: Hudson, Indiana
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« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2011, 11:11:06 AM » |
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.... if you are ready this.
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kathyp
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« Reply #11 on: August 13, 2011, 12:35:32 PM » |
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you know you are a beekeeper if the word "flow" does not mean the same to you, as it does to your girlfriends. 
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"Nay, it [this constitution of government] must perish, if there be not that vital spirit in the people, which alone can nourish, sustain, and direct all its movements. It is in vain, that statesmen shall form plans of government, in which the beauty and harmony of a republic shall be embodied in visible order, shall be built up on solid substructions, and adorned by every useful ornament, if the inhabitants suffer the silent power of time to dilapidate its walls, or crumble its massy supporters into dust; if the assaults from without are never resisted, and the rottenness and mining from within are never guarded against. Who can preserve the rights and liberties of the people, when they shall be abandoned by themselves? Who shall keep watch in the temple, when the watchmen sleep at their posts? Who shall call upon the people to redeem their possessions, and revive the republic, when their own hands have deliberately and corruptly surrendered them to the oppressor, and have built the prisons, or dug the graves of their own friends?
– Justice Joseph Story, "Commentaries on the Constitution of the United States," Volume II, Chapter XIII: Mode of Passing Laws, Sections 900-901, pp. 364 (1833)
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schawee
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Location: PAULINA,LOUISIANA
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« Reply #12 on: August 13, 2011, 10:31:14 PM » |
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you know your a beekeeper if.... you tell your wife you are going to pickup your honey and she let's you back in the house.
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BEEKEEPER OF THE SWAMP
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Shanevrr
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Location: Staunton VA
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« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2011, 08:50:44 AM » |
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The windshield of your vehicle has at least two yellow dots on it.
You have answers ready for questions about Africanized bees and the value of local honey in preventing allergies.
Year eagerly await the phone call from the post office asking you to please come pick up your bees.
You check out all the honey labels and prices at the supermarket.
You've gone through the supermarket checkout line buying nothing more than a big load of sugar, and maybe some Crisco.
You've estimated just how much money you spent to control mites.
You pick up matches at restaurants, even though you don't smoke.
Your friends and neighbors think you are the answer to every swarm and bees-in-the-wall problem.
You are keenly aware of the first and last freezes of each winter.
There is propolis on the steering wheel of your vehicle and the bottom of your boots.
There is a bucket of something in your garage that can only be good for smoker fuel.
You are called "the Bee Man," or "the Bee Lady" by a lot of people who don't know your name.
You know the bloom period of more local flowers than the state horticulturist.
You welcome a rainy weekend if it will stimulate nectar production.
You don't mind driving home with a few honey bees inside your vehicle.
Your family and friends know exactly what they're going to get for Christmas.
You don't mow the lawn because the bees are working the weeds.
You drive down a road and find yourself evaluating the roadside flowers for their honey-producing potential.
You pull over and check the bees on the wildflowers just to see if they are YOUR bees, AND -- you can tell the difference.
You come home smelling like a camp fire, and you haven't been camping.
You saw Ulee's Gold and didn't think there were enough shots of the bees.
You overhear your 9 year old daughter explaining to her friends how to tie a trucker's hitch.
The school principal calls to ask that you never again let your child take a drone tied with a thread to school for show and tell.
You never stop marveling at these wonderful creatures.
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You know you're married to a beekeeper when...
You spend at least one day a week on your hands and knees with a sharp knife scraping wax and propolis off your kitchen floor.
You've ever used bee boxes as furniture in your house, for coffee tables, chairs, night stands, and storage boxes.
You mow around mountains of bee equipment that never seems to make it to the barn.
You plan weddings, child birth, surgery and funerals around honey extracting time.
When buying a new truck, your spouse checks weight loads and measures the bed to see how many hives he can fit in it.
You get stung by the bee that was clinging to your husband's bee suit when you picked it up to wash it.
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JP
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« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2011, 11:25:37 AM » |
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you know you are a beekeeper if the word "flow" does not mean the same to you, as it does to your girlfriends.  Kathy, you killed me with that one darlin'!!!!  Will have to tell that one to my wife.  ...JP
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hankdog1
Field Bee
 
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Location: Cedar Bluff, VA
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« Reply #15 on: August 14, 2011, 12:19:30 PM » |
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if you have 100's of thousands of girls and your wife doesn't care 
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Take me to the land of milk and honey!!!
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Sparky
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Location: Hagerstown MD
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« Reply #16 on: August 14, 2011, 08:17:30 PM » |
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You know your a beekeeper if you have changed your yard mowing habbits so not to kill your day working girls.
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hankdog1
Field Bee
 
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Location: Cedar Bluff, VA
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« Reply #17 on: August 15, 2011, 04:26:27 PM » |
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Go in conveniance stores with your suit or jacket on just to see how many odd looks you get
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Take me to the land of milk and honey!!!
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luvin honey
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« Reply #18 on: August 15, 2011, 10:54:48 PM » |
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These are great  ....if you walk everywhere with your head down, looking for your girls on the clover and other flowers. ...if you talk to bees when you see them working hard in your garden.
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The pedigree of honey Does not concern the bee; A clover, any time, to him Is aristocracy. ---Emily Dickinson
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annette
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« Reply #19 on: August 16, 2011, 10:26:22 PM » |
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Bee Brothers Apiary
New Bee
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« Reply #20 on: August 16, 2011, 10:30:22 PM » |
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...if all the door handles into your house are sticky!
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annette
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« Reply #21 on: August 16, 2011, 10:30:55 PM » |
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I think for me, the biggest thing would be constantly looking at flowers to see if bees are on them. Everywhere we go, I am looking at flowers.
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hankdog1
Field Bee
 
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Location: Cedar Bluff, VA
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« Reply #22 on: August 18, 2011, 03:13:22 AM » |
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here is you guys one and i'm sure i'm not the only one who does it. Driving down the road about April or May looking up into trees for a swarm. lol haven't found one this way but doesn't stop me from looking 
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Take me to the land of milk and honey!!!
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Irwin
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Location: Lakeside OR
howdy all
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« Reply #24 on: August 19, 2011, 01:47:07 PM » |
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you know you are a beekeeper if the word "flow" does not mean the same to you, as it does to your girlfriends.  That's just wrong 
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Fight organized crime! Re-elect no one.
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kathyp
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« Reply #25 on: August 19, 2011, 06:53:50 PM » |
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but every female beekeeper on here knows it true 
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"Nay, it [this constitution of government] must perish, if there be not that vital spirit in the people, which alone can nourish, sustain, and direct all its movements. It is in vain, that statesmen shall form plans of government, in which the beauty and harmony of a republic shall be embodied in visible order, shall be built up on solid substructions, and adorned by every useful ornament, if the inhabitants suffer the silent power of time to dilapidate its walls, or crumble its massy supporters into dust; if the assaults from without are never resisted, and the rottenness and mining from within are never guarded against. Who can preserve the rights and liberties of the people, when they shall be abandoned by themselves? Who shall keep watch in the temple, when the watchmen sleep at their posts? Who shall call upon the people to redeem their possessions, and revive the republic, when their own hands have deliberately and corruptly surrendered them to the oppressor, and have built the prisons, or dug the graves of their own friends?
– Justice Joseph Story, "Commentaries on the Constitution of the United States," Volume II, Chapter XIII: Mode of Passing Laws, Sections 900-901, pp. 364 (1833)
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luvin honey
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« Reply #26 on: August 19, 2011, 07:36:16 PM » |
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True, true 
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The pedigree of honey Does not concern the bee; A clover, any time, to him Is aristocracy. ---Emily Dickinson
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