Need Bees Removed?
International
Beekeeping Forums
May 18, 2013, 05:23:59 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
Did you miss your
activation email?
1 Hour
1 Day
1 Week
1 Month
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
News
:
ATTENTION ALL NEW MEMBERS
PLEASE READ THIS OR YOUR ACCOUNT MAY BE DELETED -
CLICK HERE
Home
Help
Search
Calendar
bee removal
Login
Register
Chat
Beemaster's International Beekeeping Forums
>
MEMBER & GUEST INTERACTION SECTION
>
HUMOR is a FUNNY THING
>
Costco doctor
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Costco doctor (Read 691 times)
iddee
Galactic Bee
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 4833
Location: Randleman, NC
Costco doctor
«
on:
August 09, 2011, 05:13:52 PM »
Costco doctor!
One day, in line at the company cafeteria,
Joe says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like heck. I guess
I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend
that kind of money,"
Mike replies
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer
will tell you what's wrong and
what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars -
A lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample
in a small jar and takes it
to Costco.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer
lights up and asks for the urine sample...
He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer
ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water and
avoid heavy activity..
It will improve in two weeks.
Thank you for shopping @ Costco.."
That evening, while thinking how amazing
this new technology was, Joe began
wondering if the computer
could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water,
a stool sample from his dog,
urine samples from his wife and daughter, and
a sperm sample from himself
for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to
check the results..
He deposits ten dollars,
pours in his concoction, and
awaits the results .
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm..
Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit.
Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins.
They aren't yours..
Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself,
your elbow will never get better
Thank you for shopping @ Costco!
Logged
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"
*Shel Silverstein*
AllenF
Galactic Bee
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 7878
Location: Hiram, Georgia
Re: Costco doctor
«
Reply #1 on:
August 09, 2011, 05:38:28 PM »
Logged
kathyp
Universal Bee
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 13765
Location: boring, oregon
Re: Costco doctor
«
Reply #2 on:
August 09, 2011, 07:56:01 PM »
that's great. i might have to borrow that one from you
Logged
"What has destroyed liberty and the rights of man in every
government which has ever existed under the sun? The generalizing
and concentrating all cares and powers into one body, no matter
whether of the autocrats of Russia or France, or of the
aristocrats of a Venetian Senate." --Thomas Jefferson to Joseph C.
Cabell, 1816.
mudlakee
House Bee
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 131
Location: Lycoming NY 13093
Re: Costco doctor
«
Reply #3 on:
August 09, 2011, 07:59:57 PM »
We need a Costco up north that is cheaper than the vet. Tony
Logged
Mshel
House Bee
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 114
Location: Hopelessly Lost
Re: Costco doctor
«
Reply #4 on:
August 09, 2011, 08:37:22 PM »
LMAO!!!!!!!!
Logged
edward
Field Bee
Online
Gender:
Posts: 791
Location: BÖNAN SWEDEN
FEED ME HONEY or I`ll smash your screen !
Re: Costco doctor
«
Reply #5 on:
August 10, 2011, 08:38:07 AM »
HUhehehehehe
Logged
Larry Bees
Field Bee
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 711
Location: Mims, Florida
Re: Costco doctor
«
Reply #6 on:
August 10, 2011, 09:59:45 PM »
Now that's funny! I liked it!
Larry
Logged
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Administrator/Help Section
-----------------------------
=> FORUM BYLAWS 2012 - All members please read.
=> ADMINISTRATION FORUM
=> COMPUTER TECH HELP FORUM
-----------------------------
MEMBER BULLETIN BOARD SECTION
-----------------------------
=> GREETINGS/TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF
=> MEMBER'S WEBPAGES, BLOGS and FORUMS
=> VIDEO, VOICE and TEXT CHAT HERE.
=> PHOTO PAGE - MEMBER PHOTOS and BEE-MOVIEs Here!!!
-----------------------------
BEEKEEPING LEARNING CENTER
-----------------------------
=> GENERAL BEEKEEPING - MAIN POSTING FORUM.
=> DOWN UNDER BEEKEEPING
=> UK / EUROPEAN BEEKEEPING
=> EQUIPMENT USAGE, EXPERIMENTATION, HIVE PLANS, CONSTRUCTION TIPS AND TOOLS
=> TOP BAR HIVES - Warré Hives - Mason Hives
=> DISEASE and PEST CONTROL
=> REQUEENING & RAISING NEW QUEENS
=> NATURAL and ORGANIC BEEKEEPING METHODS
=> RAPID BEEYARD GROWTH
=> COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER - TALKS and REPORTS
=> THE TRADING POST
=> REPRINT ARTICLE ARCHIVES
-----------------------------
MEMBER & GUEST INTERACTION SECTION
-----------------------------
=> THE COFFEE HOUSE ((( SOCIAL - ROOM )))
=> MEMBER'S RECIPE COOKBOOK - ALL NEW
=> HUMOR is a FUNNY THING
=> DARK SIDE OF THE MOON
=> THE SPORTS BAR
-----------------------------
ALMOST BEEKEEPING - related topics
-----------------------------
=> FARMING and COUNTRY LIFE
=> GARDENING AROUND THE HOUSE
=> OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES FORUM
Loading...