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Author Topic: Costco doctor  (Read 1019 times)

Online iddee

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Costco doctor
« on: August 09, 2011, 06:13:52 PM »
Costco doctor!
 
One day, in line at the company cafeteria,
Joe says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like heck. I guess
I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend
that kind of money,"
Mike replies
 
 
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer
will tell you what's wrong and
 what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars -
A lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample
in a small jar and takes it
to Costco.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer
lights up and asks for the urine sample...
He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer
ejects a printout:
 
"You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water and
avoid heavy activity..
It will improve in two weeks.
Thank you for shopping @ Costco.."

That evening, while thinking how amazing
 this new technology was, Joe began
wondering if the computer
could be fooled.
 
 
 

He mixed some tap water,
a stool sample from his dog,
urine samples from his wife and daughter, and
a sperm sample from himself
for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to
check the results..
He deposits ten dollars,
pours in his concoction, and
 awaits the results .
 
 
 
 
The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard.
     Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm..
     Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit.
     Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins.
    They aren't yours..
    Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself,
    your elbow will never get better
 
 
 
Thank you for shopping @ Costco!
 
 
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline AllenF

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Re: Costco doctor
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2011, 06:38:28 PM »
 :lau:

Offline kathyp

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Re: Costco doctor
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2011, 08:56:01 PM »
that's great.  i might have to borrow that one from you :-)
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline mudlakee

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Re: Costco doctor
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2011, 08:59:57 PM »
We need a Costco up north that is cheaper than the vet.  Tony

Offline Mshel

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Re: Costco doctor
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2011, 09:37:22 PM »
LMAO!!!!!!!!  :lau:

Offline edward

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Re: Costco doctor
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2011, 09:38:07 AM »
HUhehehehehe  :-D :yippiechick:

Offline Larry Bees

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Re: Costco doctor
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2011, 10:59:45 PM »
 :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau:

Now that's funny! I liked it!

Larry

 

anything