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Author Topic: Selling Bibles  (Read 1033 times)
iddee
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« on: May 04, 2011, 12:18:42 PM »

A  pastor  concluded that   his church was getting into very serious financial  troubles.  While checking the church storeroom,  he  discovered several cartons of new  Bibles that  had  never been opened and  distributed.

So at  his  Sunday sermon, he  asked for three volunteers from the  congregation who would  be willing to sell the Bibles   door-to-door for $10 each to raise  the desperately  needed money for  the church.

Jack,  Paul and  Louie  all raised  their hands to volunteer for the   task.

The  minister knew that  Jack and  Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely   capable of  selling  some Bibles.  But he had  serious doubts  about Louie who was a  local  farmer, who had always kept to  himself because  he was embarrassed by  his speech   impediment.

Poor Louie   stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage  Louie, the minister decided to let  him try  anyway.

He  sent the three  of them  away  with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles. He   asked them  to meet with him and report the results  of their door-to-door  selling efforts the following   Sunday.

Anxious to find out  how successful  they were, the  minister immediately asked Jack, "Well,  Jack, how  did you make out selling our Bibles last  week?"

Proudly   handing the  reverend an envelope, Jack replied,  "Using my sales prowess, I  was able  to sell  20 Bibles,  and here's the  $200 I collected on behalf of  the  church."

"Fine  job, Jack!" The minister said,  vigorously  shaking his  hand..."You are indeed a fine  salesman and the church is indebted  to  you."

Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how  many Bibles  did you sell  for the  church  last  week?"

Paul,  smiling and sticking out  his  chest, confidently replied, 'I am a  professional  salesman. I sold 28 Bibles   on behalf  of the church, and here's $280 I   collected.'

The  minister responded, "That's  absolutely  splendid, Paul. You are truly a   professional salesman and the church is  indebted to  you."

Apprehensively,   the minister turned to Louie and  said, "And Louie,  did you manage to sell  any Bibles  last week?" Louie  silently offered the minister a  large envelope.

The   minister opened it and counted the contents. "What   is this?"  the minister exclaimed. "Louie,  there's $3200 in  here! Are  you suggesting that you  sold 320 Bibles for the church, door to  door, in   just one week?"

Louie   just nodded.

"That's   impossible!" both Jack and Paul  said in unison. "We  are professional salesmen, yet you claim  to have sold 10   times as many Bibles as  we could."

"Yes,   this does  seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I  think you'd better  explain how  you managed to  accomplish this,  Louie."

Louie   shrugged..  "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't   kn-kn-know f-f-f-for  sh-sh-sh-sure," he  stammered.

Impatiently, Pete r  interrupted.  "For crying  out loud,  Louie,  just tell us what you said to them when they answered  the  door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said  wa-wa-was," Louis   replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you  l-l-l-l-l-like  t-t-to b-b-b-buy  th-th-th-this B-B-B-B-Bible f-f-for   t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks---o-o-o-or---  wo-wo-would yo-you   j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here   and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to  y-y-you?"
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
Buz Green
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« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2011, 02:06:44 PM »

 lau
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I know you think you understand what you thought I said I meant but what you heard is not what I said.

www.greenbeecompany.com
Mshel
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« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2011, 08:09:48 PM »

Ha ha ha! I love it. yippie chick   Hmmmm. . . I wonder if that will work for school fund raisers too (ha ha)
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AllenF
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« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2011, 09:25:57 PM »

 lau lau
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Keeperwannabe
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« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2011, 02:05:30 AM »

That was awesome.  You are the joke master.
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Keeperwannabe
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« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2011, 02:27:28 AM »

 afro shocked grin rolleyes grin Kiss
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