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Author Topic: Splinters  (Read 1230 times)

Offline Sparky

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Splinters
« on: March 20, 2011, 09:26:24 PM »
A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville , WA .
 
There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.  In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
 
In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"   
   
He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area so close to a waste treatment facility. I'm sorry, but due to Obama Care they turned me down."







Offline AllenF

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Re: Splinters
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2011, 09:29:07 PM »
 :lau:

Offline AllenF

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Re: Splinters
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2011, 09:40:21 PM »
I am surprised they did not fine her for disturbing that spotted owl also.    :lau:  Wife loved it also.

Offline iddee

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Re: Splinters
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2011, 11:00:30 PM »
BEEEUUUTIFUL.  :lau: :lau:
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

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Offline hardwood

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Re: Splinters
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2011, 11:08:26 PM »
Spotted owl??? Don't you mean "Swamp chicken"?

 :-D
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Offline jmblakeney

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Re: Splinters
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2011, 12:06:58 AM »
TThat's too funny.
"I believe the best social program is a job...." - Ronald Reagan

Offline Brian D. Bray

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Re: Splinters
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2011, 06:43:44 PM »
Spotted owl??? Don't you mean "Swamp chicken"?

 :-D

No, not a swamp chicken.  Unlike Florida, which is a large swamp surrounded by a sand bar, Washington is a lot of Mountains occassionally interrupted by rivers and the Salish Sea (aka Puget Sound).  Here we call them forest chicken, you get far enough back in the woods, where it's hard to see daylight and it's hard to tell the chickens from the owls (takes big eyes to see in the dark).
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Offline Jerrymac

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Re: Splinters
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2011, 07:25:40 PM »
So that's why grandma had big eyes.
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