A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We
have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain
from sex for an entire month."
The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned
To the church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was
crying, and the husband obviously was very depressed.
"You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor
"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain
from sex for the required month," the young man replied sadly.
The pastor asked him what happened.
"Well, the first week was difficult; however, we managed to
abstain through sheer willpower.
The second week was terrible, but with the use of
prayer, we managed to abstain.
The third week, however, was unbearable. We tried
cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible, or anything to keep
our minds free of carnal thoughts.
But one afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and
dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I noticed that she didn't
have panties on and I was overcome with lust and I had my way with her,
right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly.
"You understand this means you will not be welcome into our
church," stated the pastor.
"We know," said the young man, hanging his head.
"We're not welcome at Lowe's anymore, either.
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"