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Author Topic: Redneck Lent  (Read 1816 times)

Offline iddee

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Redneck Lent
« on: February 07, 2011, 09:26:47 AM »
REDNECK LENT

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.

 

The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic Faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic.

 

After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass, and as the Priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, 'You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic.

 

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.

 

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

 

There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Online Jim 134

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Re: Redneck Lent
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2011, 06:10:59 PM »
 :lau: :lau: :lau:


   BEE HAPPY Jim 134 :)
"Tell me and I'll forget,show me and I may  remember,involve me and I'll understand"
        Chinese Proverb

"The farmer is the only man in our economy who buys everything at retail, sells everything at wholesale, and pays the freight both ways."
 John F. Kennedy
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Offline AllenF

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Re: Redneck Lent
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2011, 06:44:42 PM »
 :lau:

Offline hardwood

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Re: Redneck Lent
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2011, 08:26:59 PM »
 :-D
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907

Offline Countryboy

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Re: Redneck Lent
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2011, 10:32:07 PM »
Ironically, deer is clean meat according to Levitical standards, but catfish is unclean.

Offline AllenF

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Re: Redneck Lent
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2011, 07:44:41 PM »
But he was Catholic, not Jewish.

Offline Countryboy

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Re: Redneck Lent
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2011, 08:32:32 PM »
I think you will find the book of Leviticus in both the Catholic Bible and the Torah. 

If you use the word 'healthy' instead of 'clean', and 'unhealthy' instead of 'unclean', the dietary restrictions suddenly make a lot of sense.  For example, catfish is a bottom feeder that eats all kinds of crud, while a deer just eats plants, and has a really good digestive system to enable it to process foods more completely.

Offline kingbee

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Re: Redneck Lent
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2011, 03:13:39 AM »
... deer is clean... according to Levitical standards, but catfish is unclean.

Its a joke, FYI the padre was Catholic not Jewish.  If you feel left out make it pickled +herring or smoked salmon

I like Catholics, when it comes to religion Catholics are the most pracital people on Earth.  The Pope was so pratical in fact that he declaired the manitee or sea cow a fish so good Catholics in Spanish Florida could dine on its flesh on Fridays and during Lent.  What's not to like about such a fellow?

Offline Mshel

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Re: Redneck Lent
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2011, 09:18:53 PM »
Funny!! Maybe I need to get me some Holy Water to use. lol