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Author Topic: THE IRISH PROSTITUTE  (Read 1164 times)

Offline iddee

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THE IRISH PROSTITUTE
« on: January 30, 2011, 08:47:18 PM »
THE IRISH PROSTITUTE
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cursed her heavily.
Where have ye been all this time, child?
Why did ye not write to us, not even a line?

Why didn't ye call?
Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?'
The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff... Dad.... I became a prostitute.'
'Ye what!!?
Get outta here, ye shameless harlot!   Sinner!   
You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad... as ye wish.
I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate.
For me little brother, this gold Rolex.
And for ye, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes Limited Edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath)... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'
'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.
Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff... a prostitute, Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'
'Oh! Be Jesus!   Ye scared me half to death, girl!
I thought ye said a Protestant .
Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!!!'
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline AllenF

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Re: THE IRISH PROSTITUTE
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2011, 11:13:39 PM »
 :-D

Offline Bee Happy

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Re: THE IRISH PROSTITUTE
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2011, 11:19:07 PM »
HEY! I'm part Irish.










...and it's STILL funny.
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Offline Irwin

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Re: THE IRISH PROSTITUTE
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2011, 11:54:49 PM »
Good one iddee :-D
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Offline hardwood

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Re: THE IRISH PROSTITUTE
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2011, 12:12:16 AM »
Dang, my sister never even lets me near her yacht!

Scott
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

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Offline beemaster

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Re: THE IRISH PROSTITUTE
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2011, 12:35:02 AM »
HEY! I'm part Irish.


...and it's STILL funny.

If you can't laugh at yourself... We'll do it for FREE  :-P
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