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Author Topic: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:  (Read 1035 times)

Offline iddee

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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
« on: January 21, 2011, 11:54:37 AM »
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A  FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING  A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline Jerrymac

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2011, 01:19:02 PM »

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

Or the shower  :shock:

Why is it the woman never puts the seat up for the man? Hummm?
:rainbowflower:  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   :rainbowflower:

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Offline VolunteerK9

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2011, 01:42:26 PM »

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

Or the shower  :shock:

Why is it the woman never puts the seat up for the man? Hummm?

Exactly...if I have to lift it then they should put it back down. Orrr...I just wont lift it in the first place and listen to the complaints of my accuracy.

Online kathyp

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2011, 01:46:29 PM »
because you will not wander into the dark bathroom and FALL IN because i forgot to put the seat up.  :-D
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline Scadsobees

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2011, 02:17:49 PM »
We've got four young boys.  In our house its the females who get yelled at! "how many times do I have to tell you...PUT THE SEAT UP WHEN YOU'RE DONE!!"   :-D

They like to know that the seat is either down or up and stable.  Being as short as they are, if that seat comes down fast.... :shock:
Rick

Offline Jerrymac

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2011, 09:08:38 PM »
because you will not wander into the dark bathroom and FALL IN because i forgot to put the seat up.  :-D

Yep, we are smart enough to turn the light on  :-D
:rainbowflower:  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   :rainbowflower:

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Offline iddee

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2011, 09:19:58 PM »
""Being as short as they are, if that seat comes down fast....  ""

They become young girls? ???  :-D
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline hardwood

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2011, 09:29:16 PM »
Sopranos in the boy's choir?

Scott
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907