beemaster
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Galactic Bee
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« on: January 19, 2011, 11:38:44 PM » |
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I've walked in to many a joke at the end and had to be told the joke knowing the punchline. Some jokes have GREAT memorable punchlines that instantly return the joke to your mind. Try posting some punchlines, just to see who all recognizes the jokes. If clean, please feel free to quote the joke if you wish, but try coming up with the endings that you think others will recall. I was talking to the duck. Then why do their doors have locks? Why the long face fella? Not another Breathalyzer test?! if this is a thermometer, where's my pencil? there's a few  |
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« Last Edit: January 20, 2011, 11:38:26 AM by beemaster »
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kathyp
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« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2011, 10:18:44 AM » |
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i don't know the answer to any of them  |
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"Nay, it [this constitution of government] must perish, if there be not that vital spirit in the people, which alone can nourish, sustain, and direct all its movements. It is in vain, that statesmen shall form plans of government, in which the beauty and harmony of a republic shall be embodied in visible order, shall be built up on solid substructions, and adorned by every useful ornament, if the inhabitants suffer the silent power of time to dilapidate its walls, or crumble its massy supporters into dust; if the assaults from without are never resisted, and the rottenness and mining from within are never guarded against. Who can preserve the rights and liberties of the people, when they shall be abandoned by themselves? Who shall keep watch in the temple, when the watchmen sleep at their posts? Who shall call upon the people to redeem their possessions, and revive the republic, when their own hands have deliberately and corruptly surrendered them to the oppressor, and have built the prisons, or dug the graves of their own friends?
– Justice Joseph Story, "Commentaries on the Constitution of the United States," Volume II, Chapter XIII: Mode of Passing Laws, Sections 900-901, pp. 364 (1833)
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Jerrymac
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« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2011, 10:25:38 AM » |
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The third one down...
It was on one of the "Hot Shots" movies
A horse walked into the bar. The bartender asked......... "Why the long face?"
I heard the duck joke but it eludes me right now.
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beemaster
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Galactic Bee
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« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2011, 11:37:47 AM » |
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I hope you know I was trying to get YOUR punchlines, not guess my jokes?? But I can give you all but one: 1) man walks in a bar with a duck under his arm, bartender says "what an ugly pig" - the man said "it's not a pig, it's a duck!" Bartender says, "I was talking to the duck!" 2) If 7-11s are open 24 hours a day, year round, why do they have locks on their doors? 3) Horse walks into a bar, bartender says "Why the long face fella?" 4) PM ME 5) Confused Doctor pauses in the hallway to jot notes on a chart and says "if this is a thermometer, where is my pencil?" name some punchlines, preferably ones you think we might know the joke too. |
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Jerrymac
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« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2011, 01:26:07 PM » |
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Sorry. Misunderstood... sort of |
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Irwin
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howdy all
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« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2011, 07:59:17 AM » |
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#4 is the only one I've heard  |
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Fight organized crime! Re-elect no one.
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JP
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« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2011, 09:40:32 AM » |
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Here's one that I heard a million yrs ago, the punch line "Sick 'em Jesus!"
...JP
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Irwin
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howdy all
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« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2011, 11:01:59 AM » |
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A rottweilers name ? Jp
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Fight organized crime! Re-elect no one.
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CapnChkn
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« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2011, 04:47:22 AM » |
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I don't know. Part of the experience of the joke is the story. If you are familiar with the concept surrounding the joke, "The Aristocrats," you will see the entertainment is not in the punchline but in the story itself.
The talent agent says, "That's quite an act! What do you call yourselves?" The father replies, "The Aristocrats!"
A true jokester never jumps in and stops the joke saying, "I know that one!" for the same reason. If you only know one joke, but 50 ways to tell it, you know 50 jokes. In contrast, if you know 50 jokes, and one way to tell it, you only really know one joke.
"If I happen to fall from the tree, SHOOT THE DOG!"
"You've not come for the shooting have you?"
"Not exactly..."
"Got any grapes?"
"No sir, I would not send a knight out on a dog like this!"
"Nope! I'm a frayed knot!"
"Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio?'"
"You have a drink named 'Stan?'"
"It happened all so fast!"
"You see how good it works?"
"Yeah I though this might happen, all you've done since you got here is complain!"
I had 3 out of 5 on the original post. I'm finding the hard part is trying to remember stories everyone would have heard.
"That Peters, he never could handle a French accent..."
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"Thinking is like sin, them that doesn't is scairt of it, and them that does gets to liking it so much they can't quit!" -Josh Billings.
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BjornBee
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« Reply #9 on: January 23, 2011, 10:25:27 PM » |
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The punch line..... "No! But the guy before you was!"  |
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Humanbeeing
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« Reply #10 on: January 26, 2011, 09:42:35 PM » |
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Great idea, since I did walk in on the punchline a while back, and everyone laughed their heads off and then dispersed, without telling me the joke. If anyone knows which joke this punchline goes to, please tell me. Here it is:
I can clearly see you're nuts!
Thank you.
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HELP! I accidently used Drone eggs with the Hopkins method and I got Drag Queens!!!
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AllenF
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« Reply #12 on: January 27, 2011, 02:15:09 PM » |
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wd
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« Reply #13 on: January 27, 2011, 04:46:20 PM » |
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Planned on giving it up today. 1) why did the turkey cross the road? "to prove it wasn't chicken." 2) The Joke? It's floating around on google buzz. the product is for sale on Amazon but currently out of stock. 3) speaks for it self - it was posted on a blog from Iran which for some reason added to the chuckle for me. |
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G3farms
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« Reply #14 on: January 27, 2011, 05:09:10 PM » |
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"It happened all so fast!" You been watching too much Andy and Barney |
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wd
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« Reply #15 on: January 27, 2011, 06:32:45 PM » |
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what or who is andy and barney?
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G3farms
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« Reply #16 on: January 27, 2011, 07:20:04 PM » |
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WHAT!?!?! neverheard of the Andy Griffith Show.
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wd
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« Reply #17 on: January 27, 2011, 07:36:35 PM » |
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Oh, I see. haven't seen or thought that show in a long time andy and barney didn't ring any bells, excuse me
Punch line: Whats that noise?
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« Last Edit: January 27, 2011, 08:30:57 PM by wd »
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vmmartin
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« Reply #18 on: January 29, 2011, 08:54:43 AM » |
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Well. You just gonna sit there, or are you gonna fish?
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hankdog1
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« Reply #19 on: February 01, 2011, 01:24:21 AM » |
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Nothing you've done told her twice!
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Take me to the land of milk and honey!!!
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