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Author Topic: Definition of a wife  (Read 2946 times)

Offline David McLeod

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Definition of a wife
« on: December 20, 2010, 07:18:03 PM »
An appliance that you screw on your bed that does your housework.
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Offline hardwood

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2010, 07:25:25 PM »
OOOO I aint touchin' that one!

Scott
 :-D
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

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Offline Jerrymac

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2010, 07:42:22 PM »
 :pop:
:rainbowflower:  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   :rainbowflower:

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Offline David McLeod

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2010, 07:43:08 PM »
Well, do you know why bridal gowns are white?
So the dishwasher matches the rest of the appliances.

Extremely poor taste but funny nonetheless.
Ladies, please don't take offense, go on the offence.
I'm sure the fairer sex has some just as tasteless for us.
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Offline hardwood

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2010, 08:32:38 PM »
Peggy writes:

What do you do if you see your husband staggering around in the back yard?








Shoot him again!
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907

Offline AllenF

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2010, 09:16:07 PM »
 :lau:

Offline Jerrymac

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2010, 12:22:24 AM »
Peggy writes:

What do you do if you see your husband staggering around in the back yard?
Shoot him again!

Guess he won't tell anymore wife jokes  :-D
:rainbowflower:  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   :rainbowflower:

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Offline annette

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2010, 11:07:19 PM »
A man and his wife are doing yard work. The husband says to the wife, "Your rear end is as wide as the grill." She ignores the remark.

A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and measures the grill. Then goes over to his wife while she is bending over working in a flower bed, he measures her rear end and gasps, "Geez, it really IS as wide as the grill!"

Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. She calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."

Offline AllenF

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2010, 10:13:17 PM »
A classic.   :-D

Offline VolunteerK9

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #9 on: December 22, 2010, 11:35:15 PM »
Peggy writes:

What do you do if you see your husband staggering around in the back yard?
 







Shoot him again!

Figgin hilarious Mrs. Hardwood.....just dont use JP's gun

Offline VolunteerK9

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #10 on: December 22, 2010, 11:39:48 PM »

Extremely poor taste but funny nonetheless.
Ladies, please don't take offense, go on the offence.
I'm sure the fairer sex has some just as tasteless for us.

I don't know man...I'm under the influence of some serious narcotics and I still won't touch this subject with a 10 foot pole  :-D

Offline Highlandsfreedom

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #11 on: December 22, 2010, 11:40:51 PM »
I reject your reality and substitute my own...
To bee or not to bee that is the question I wake up to answer that every morning...

Offline AllenF

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #12 on: December 23, 2010, 10:10:19 AM »
 :lau:

Offline BjornBee

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Re: Definition of a wife
« Reply #13 on: January 09, 2011, 09:37:17 AM »
And I always wondered why the wives I was "seeing" in my younger years, would be out and about while the husband was away at work. Maybe it was this attitude from a neanderthal that actually thought this of his wife.

Anyways....thanks guys....I had fun!   ;)
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