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Author Topic: Why I like NC.  (Read 919 times)
iddee
Galactic Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 6201

Location: Randleman, NC


« on: November 17, 2010, 05:04:29 PM »

Retirement choices:

You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where...

1.  You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 
2.  You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the
toilet bowl.
3.  You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 
4.  You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5.  You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when
you open your oven door.
6.  The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
ME??!! 

OR

You can retire to California where... 

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5.  When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it
will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

OR

You can retire to New York City where... 

1.  You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .   
2.  You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus
Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 
3.  You think Central Park is "nature." 
4.  You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
makes you multi-lingual. 
5.  You've worn out a car horn. (ed. note if you have a car).
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

OR

You can retire to Maine where... 

1.  You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco . 
2.  Halloween costumes fit over parkas. 
3.  You have more than one recipe for moose. 
4.  Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 
5.  The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
construction. 

OR

You can retire to the Deep South where... 

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural. 
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names:  Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean,
Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's
important to know the difference, too. 

OR

You can retire to Colorado where... 

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops
at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

OR

You can retire to the Midwest where... 

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
different!"

OR

FINALLY You can retire to Florida where...

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5.  Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.


Have FUN!

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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
Geoff
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Location: Yinnar, Australia


« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2010, 08:11:27 PM »

Thanks Iddee, great advice for a likely tourist.  cool
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Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
iddee
Galactic Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 6201

Location: Randleman, NC


« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2010, 08:34:34 PM »

Just remember the thread heading, Geoff. It's somewhat tongue-in-cheek.
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
hardwood
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Posts: 3482


Location: Osteen, Fl (just south of Daytona)

Alysian Apiaries youtube.com/MrBeedude


« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2010, 12:19:44 AM »

Dinner at 3:15 is late...supper is always at 6:00 grin

FL boy Scott
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"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907
Brian D. Bray
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Posts: 7369


Location: Anacortes, WA 98221

I really look like this, just ask Cindi.


WWW
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2010, 01:33:10 AM »

Or you can retire to the Pacific Northwest where you can live just like they do in:
Pheonix, Arizona
California
New York City
Maine
The Deep South
The Midwest
Colorado
Florida

Depending upon which side of the Cascade Mountains you chose to live.
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Life is a school.  What have you learned?   Brian      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!
Bee Happy
Super Bee
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Posts: 1656


Location: Between Panama city, Florida and Dothan Al.

that's me - setting a phoenix free


« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2010, 06:11:18 AM »


5.  Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.


...at 6 Miles per hour bearing Canadian tags.
(I got even, Florida tags in blowing dusty snow - creeping in an 80Km/h zone)
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be happy and make others happy.
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