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Author Topic: Golf Lesson  (Read 852 times)
Sparky
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« on: October 09, 2010, 08:27:17 PM »

A husband takes his wife to play her first round of golf.

The wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful!  Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."

So, the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A man's voice said, "Come on in."

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done. Glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke the window?"

"Uh, yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years.. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.


"I'd like to own a gorgeous home, complete with servants, in every country in the world," she said.

"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"Now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"

So, the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other in every way. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"

"Why, we're both 45," she responded breathlessly. 

"NO bleep." He said, "Forty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"
 
 
 
 

 

 

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Irwin
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howdy all


« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2010, 10:47:46 AM »

 lau lau
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Fight organized crime!  Re-elect no one.
G3farms
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« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2010, 11:38:43 AM »

so did they have to still pay for the window  evil
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see my swarms and cut outs at https://www.youtube.com/user/soapy22bullet?feature=mhee

those hot bees will have you steppin and a fetchin like your heads on fire and your @ss is a catchin!!!

Bees will be bees and do as they please!
hardwood
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Alysian Apiaries youtube.com/MrBeedude


« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2010, 12:12:17 PM »

I was wondering why my Father in Law insisted on retiring to a golf community grin

Scott
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"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907
iddee
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« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2010, 03:07:58 PM »

 applause applause lau lau
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
AllenF
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« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2010, 06:17:54 PM »

 lau lau
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philinacoma
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« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2010, 10:47:10 AM »

 grin not bad!
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