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Author Topic: Why I'm Divorced  (Read 1288 times)

Offline Irwin

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Why I'm Divorced
« on: August 26, 2010, 11:23:34 AM »



Why I'm divorced . . .

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning..   

I went downstairs for breakfast   
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,   
'Happy Birthday!',   
and possibly have a small present for me.   

As it turned out,   
she barely said good morning,   
let alone   
' Happy Birthday.'   

I thought....   

Well, that's marriage for you,   
but the kids....   
They will remember.   

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..   
So when I left for the office,   
I felt pretty low   
and somewhat despondent.   

As I walked into my office,   
my secretary Jane said,   
'Good Morning Boss,   
and by the way   
Happy Birthday ! '   
It felt a little better   
that at least someone had remembered.   

I worked until one o'clock ,   
when Jane knocked on my door   
and said, 'You know,   
It's such a beautiful day outside,   
and it is your Birthday,   
what do you say we go out to lunch,   
just you and me..'   
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,   
that's the greatest thing   
I've heard all day.   
Let's go !'   

We went to lunch.   
But we didn't go   
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro   
with a private table.   
We had two martinis each   
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.   

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,   
It's such a beautiful day...   
We don't need to go straight back to the office,   
Do We ?'   

I responded,   
'I guess not.   
What do you have in mind ?'   
She said,   
'Let's drop by my apartment,   
it's just around the corner..'   

After arriving at her apartment,   
Jane turned to me and said,

' Boss, if you don't mind,   
I'm going to step into the bedroom   
for just a moment.   
I'll be right back.'   
'Ok.' I nervously replied.   

She went into the bedroom and,   
after a couple of minutes,   
she came out   
carrying a huge birthday cake ...   
Followed   
by my wife,   
my kids,   
and dozens of my friends   
and co-workers,   
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.   


And I just sat there....   

On the couch.....   

Naked.
 
 
 
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Offline VolunteerK9

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Re: Why I'm Divorced
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2010, 02:01:32 PM »
 :lau:

Offline slacker361

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Re: Why I'm Divorced
« Reply #2 on: August 26, 2010, 03:40:26 PM »
 :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau:


can I send that on that was awesome

Offline AllenF

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Re: Why I'm Divorced
« Reply #3 on: August 26, 2010, 04:02:12 PM »
That's a good one.

Offline Sparky

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Re: Why I'm Divorced
« Reply #4 on: August 26, 2010, 10:17:51 PM »
 :-D WHAT!!!! You cain't eat cake without clothes ?

Offline philinacoma

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Re: Why I'm Divorced
« Reply #5 on: August 26, 2010, 10:36:58 PM »
I agree with Sparky, All you really need is a plate. Lets face it he was in his birthday suit!

Offline beee farmer

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Re: Why I'm Divorced
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2010, 11:59:57 PM »
 X:X X:X :lau: :lau:  again that "ASSUME" thingy
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Offline TwT

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Re: Why I'm Divorced
« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2010, 12:03:44 PM »
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! that was great!!
THAT's ME TO THE LEFT JUST 5 YEARS FROM NOW!!!!!!!!

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Offline Jerrymac

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Re: Why I'm Divorced
« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2010, 05:20:03 PM »
Another way that could have gone..... sexual harassment  :shock:
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Offline CountryBee

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Re: Why I'm Divorced
« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2010, 07:25:00 PM »
 X:X