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Author Topic: Funny?? or Pathetic??  (Read 1879 times)
iddee
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Location: Randleman, NC


« on: July 18, 2010, 11:08:30 AM »

ONE


Recently, when
I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken
McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.


'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I
replied.

'We only have six, nine, or
twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a
half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'


'That's right.'

So I shook my head and
ordered six McNuggets

(Unbelievable but
sadly true...)



TWO


I was checking
out at the local Walmart with just a few items
and the lady behind me put her things on the
belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
'dividers' that they keep by the cash register
and placed it between our things so they
wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had
scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code
so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar
code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this
is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I
don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said
'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.


She had no clue to what had just happened.




THREE


A woman at work was seen
putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired
as to what she was doing, she said she was
shopping on the Internet and they kept asking
for a credit card number, so she was using the
ATM 'thingy.'

(keep
shuddering!!)


FOUR

I recently saw a
distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
'Do you need some help?' I asked.

She
replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I
can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would
have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmmm, I don't
know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.


'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me.  As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'


PLEASE just lay
down before you hurt yourself !!!


  FIVE

Several years ago,
we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and
said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I
do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took
her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it
on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the
way!!


SIX


A mother calls 911 very
worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had
eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the
kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the
mother says, 'I just gave him some ant
killer......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to
emergency!'


Life is tough.
It's even tougher if you're
stupid!!!!



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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
kathyp
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« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2010, 11:27:22 AM »

natural selection.  the one thing Darwin got right!   evil
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
Scadsobees
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Best use of smileys in a post award.


« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2010, 10:17:39 PM »

Um..what's a "floppy drive"??  huh

Sounds like something that I get emails accusing me of!!

 grin

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Rick
bull
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Location: Chanute Ks.


« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2010, 11:19:10 PM »

Here goes , i went to dinner at a friends, a hobbie rancher.
so after dinner they tell me that there going to sell the cattle ,OK why?
seems some things wrong there teeth are all falling out ? 
Yep , there front upper teeth are missing .
I didnt handle that very well, if only i could take that back.

Same guy ,some one told him if he cut the hay short that the roots would go deeper
Yep, 20 acers with a lawn mover as short as it would go.

a young Precher come in and asks if i know where he could find those new shells in 12 ga.
what new shells ? turkey shells with seasonings already  in them.  i had my head on that day and
did my best to set him right with out slapping him . hes getting better but i still wonder
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ProPacific
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« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2010, 05:05:33 PM »

haha thanks for these!
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WALTC
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« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2010, 06:43:24 PM »

natural selection.  the one thing Darwin got right!   evil

Have you ever seen the Darwin Awards website?  It's full of idiots that just boggle the mind.  In order to actually win a Darwin Award, someone has to actually die doing something really stupid, thus taking him/herself out of the gene pool.  I tried to insert a link, but it isn't working.  Maybe they've quit updating it.

Too bad, it was pretty good.
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AllenF
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« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2010, 08:06:49 PM »

http://www.darwinawards.com/

Maybe I will get an award one day.
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Michael Bush
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« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2010, 03:10:45 AM »

This may be too simplistic, but it did blow me away.  I'm in the store and someone asks the cleark what 2 times $1.50 is.  While I'm trying to get over a person not knowing the answer to that in their head, the clerk picks up an adding machine and puts the numbers in to get the answer.  TWO people who can't multiply $1.50 times 2 in their head?  It boggles the mind...
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Michael Bush
My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
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"Everything works if you let it."--Rick Nielsen
Bee Happy
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Location: Between Panama city, Florida and Dothan Al.

that's me - setting a phoenix free


« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2010, 12:51:05 PM »

"...I see DUMB people, They're everywhere! - They walk around like everyone else, they don't even know they're DUMB." - someone else on the internet; paraphrased from "the sixth sense"
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be happy and make others happy.
irerob
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« Reply #9 on: July 25, 2010, 09:33:13 PM »

 You should see the looks I get from the clerk at Subway when I tell them I don't want   raw pickles on my sandwich. Of course they usually  ask about cucumbers at some point down the rail.
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You don't need a parachute to sky dive.... you do how ever need one to sky dive twice.
 KJ4QMH.
vermmy35
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« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2010, 01:31:57 PM »

Omg, some people need to go out and buy a clue. evil
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http://gettingbacktocountryliving.blogspot.com/
Brian D. Bray
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I really look like this, just ask Cindi.


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« Reply #11 on: August 07, 2010, 07:22:14 PM »

I am lactose intolerant.  I have yet to find a restuarant that will hold the ice cream, sour cream, butter, cheese, or milk when you tell them you're lactose intolerant and omit the dairy products.  Mexican restuarants will hold the cheese if asked but still give you the sour cream even when told "hold the cheese and any other dairy products."

But the topper is the waitress who replies, "Oh, it doesn't have eggs in it," when told to hold the dairy products.

Yeah, I know, I know, eggs are the only thing listed as a dairy product that is not or is not made from milk.
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Life is a school.  What have you learned?   Brian      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!
slacker361
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« Reply #12 on: August 07, 2010, 07:30:26 PM »

Try and get them to make change with out using the cash register. You want to see pure panic. It is very sad and I will say it again. It think it is because of the flu shots.
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Brian D. Bray
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I really look like this, just ask Cindi.


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« Reply #13 on: August 07, 2010, 08:33:43 PM »

Try and get them to make change with out using the cash register. You want to see pure panic. It is very sad and I will say it again. It think it is because of the flu shots.

Back in the day I managed a restaurant I used to have to teach Money.  Counting in money is different.  1 of the few questions I asked when interviewing prospective employees was how to make change.  I would ask the person something like: if a customer's order came to $6.47 and they gave you a $20 bill, what would be their change in coin, and bills.  I was lucky if 1 in 20 could come close.
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Life is a school.  What have you learned?   Brian      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!
slacker361
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« Reply #14 on: August 07, 2010, 08:41:46 PM »

I worked in my moms store when I was around 10 years old, and i could make change back then. they should teach that in school

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