It seems you are struggling, but not discouraged enough to quite all together. That is good
Be patient and take small steps. The nice thing about the internet is that there is a ton of information available. The bad thing about the internet is that there is a ton of information available.
Don't be in a rush to throw out all your comb and replace it with new. Never judge comb by color alone. I don't have any pictures handy, but I'm sure you have seen Micheal Bush's avitar. That is beautiful comb, try buying drawn comb, it is not something that people want to readily part with, and if they do, they want top dollar for it.
I'm sure you can sort through all the comb you have and pick out they better ones to use. My rule of thumb is only to cull out frames with more than 10% drone (or unusable) cells. Once you have the best of your comb picked out, slowly cull the bad combs out and replace with the better comb. To do this, slowly move the bad combs to the outside of the super and install your better combs in the center. Moving them over to all foundation will really hamper their progress as they will spend much effort to draw out new comb.
As far as finding the queen, you narrow down her whereabouts with your excluder. Put the excluder on top of the bottom box and after a couple of days check back to see where the fresh eggs are (much easier to spot on dark comb than that "nice" yellow comb). If they are below the excluder you know to seach only the bottom box. If they are above the exclude, you can move the excluder up another box and try to isolate her even further.
Good luck and hang in there, just remember bees have their own minds and don't alway react the same way as the internet says they should.