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Author Topic: How do I convince the wife??????  (Read 4597 times)
joker1656
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« Reply #40 on: May 13, 2010, 01:38:37 PM »

I don't know if it is convincing, but none of my kids have been stung by my bees, or any others for that matter.  Well, they have, but not since we have kept them.  My bees are less than 30 yards off of one of our walking trails through our woods.  My kids have a tree house less than 80 yds from the bees.  Our yard has dandelions and clover galore (too much).  We have an inground pool.  My kids are outside pretty much every chance they get.  They run through the yard bare foot most of the time.  Visiting kids have not been stung.  We walk near the hives often. 

When we were considering bees, we knew one of our kids had a mild reaction to a sting when he was two.  He has never had another reaction like that.  I have had a reaction that cost me several hundred dollars, but that was my own fault and another story all together.  We keep epi-pens on hand. 

Keeping bees probably has an imperceptible effect on the probability of a general person being stung on your property.  That is just my opinion, but unless they're AHB you almost have to work at getting stung to get stung.  FWIW
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"Fear not the night.  Fear that which walks the night.  I am that which walks the night, BUT only EVIL need fear me..."-Lt. Col. David Grossman
Rodni73
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« Reply #41 on: May 13, 2010, 04:34:37 PM »

Just for the record.

After reading some of the replies I seriously considered getting rid of my bees! I mean what if a bee stings me? or what if a bee stings the neighbor's dog? What if one flies over the cookoos nest? Get real people what if an asteroid strikes earth? Do we have to live and let the WHAT IF RUIN our lives...1

I kayak fish in the bay? What if a great white attack? What if I get run over by a boat? What if Godzilla shows up to destroy NY city like "The Clover Field Project movie" lol. I teach in an urban school district.. What if I get assaulted in a bad neighborhood? What if I become a gang initiation victim..! What if..

Just read some of the replies and it sounds like a litigation lawsuit.. With some who has no idea and are generalizing about this and that type!

My type:
1-I love my wife
2-I respect and adore my wife with all of my heart
3-I happily die for my wife if it saves her life.

So there is no need for people to stereotype and generalize!  This guy has an acre property do you know how big that is? That is three times the amount of property I have. I have two hives and I live in the suburbs and for the love of Jesus people are now keeping bees in Brooklyn and NY city while some are advising him not to get bees on an acre! Just because his partner is afraid...

By the way I am off to enjoy the 45" striped bass that I caught on my Kayak last sunday.. Ohhh nooo
what if the oven explodes??? What if I am alergic to fish? hmmmmmmmmmmm

-Rodni
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charlotte
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« Reply #42 on: May 13, 2010, 05:02:56 PM »

For many people bees are scary.  Even scarier when you throw in epi pen & bees in the same sentance...

In my house, my husband & I have an unspoken agreement...Unless it involves spending a ton of money, we each do what we want.  However, if it involves allergic reactions, that may be different. 

My thoughts- Personally- either find a nice outyard, not too far away OR perhaps when your step son is visiting you could cover the hive for the weekend with a moving screen or one of those nets that Dadant sells?  The kind that you would use if you had to contain bees because of spraying pesticides, etc?  Just a thougtht.  Not ideal, but it may just be the best of both worlds.  You get to have your bees at home (on the far end of your one acre, facing away from the house), and yet you are being considerate & thoughtful.  Fear & love are powerful things...and a mother's love is like no other.  If she is truly scared for her son's life- you are not going to win. Why upset your happy home? Good luck & let us know what happens...
If nothing else- get an outyard--beekeeping is a great hobby- it's just not for everyone.
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TwoBigCats
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« Reply #43 on: May 13, 2010, 05:31:49 PM »

I do not need, require or ask permission to do the things I intend to do.  If it is an issue that requires consensus becasue it involves spending an amount of time, money, other resources that are shared/valued by the both of us, then we will discuss it rationally.
buahahahaha, this would be funny if it weren't... oh, heck - it IS funny.

so you're saying health concerns about her son aren't shared values?

buahahahahahahaha.
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greenbtree
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« Reply #44 on: May 13, 2010, 05:51:02 PM »

Wow, if he comes only once a month, I think covering them with a screen is a great idea! Just do it the night before! Way to go Charlotte!

JC
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"Rise again, rise again - though your heart it be broken, or life about to end.  No matter what you've lost, be it a home, a love, a friend, like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again!"
bigbearomaha
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« Reply #45 on: May 13, 2010, 06:24:08 PM »

I do not need, require or ask permission to do the things I intend to do.  If it is an issue that requires consensus becasue it involves spending an amount of time, money, other resources that are shared/valued by the both of us, then we will discuss it rationally.
buahahahaha, this would be funny if it weren't... oh, heck - it IS funny.

so you're saying health concerns about her son aren't shared values?

buahahahahahahaha.

Nope, I didn't say that, you simply heard what you wanted to hear.  so to speak.

Did you pay attention to the post after that where  I clarified I don't just do things without doing taking the proper considerations first?  Apparently not.

Some people trust each other and know that their spouse will not just errantly take action without taking all things into consideration first, thus, there isn't much need to get 'permission' from each other as we know the other is trustworthy and can be counted on to think of things like that before hand.

Big Bear
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Bee Happy
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« Reply #46 on: May 13, 2010, 06:31:55 PM »

 Wink I'd verify the allergy and then work from there.  We have a regular dinner guest who claims to be allergic. (she also dislikes chocolate - the commie.) I'm thinking that if she were truly allergic, she wouldn't come to dinner. (I asked and got the "I swell a lot" answer)
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be happy and make others happy.
Sparky
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« Reply #47 on: May 13, 2010, 10:55:42 PM »

You could try the back door approach and see what the son thinks. If you can arouse his curiosity of the honey bees and get him a full suit so that he can get involved, she may come around.
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bull
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« Reply #48 on: May 13, 2010, 11:07:15 PM »

I forgot  :>
I have found its easier to say sorry , than ever ask permission at my house.
Have i mentioned I'm always in a lot of trouble.
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luvin honey
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« Reply #49 on: May 14, 2010, 01:18:03 AM »

I think you HAVE to find out about the son's reactions. If it is just swelling, then you have a lot of reasonable options. If it is deadly, that's a whole other matter.

And Rodni, maybe you're just joking and I'm not catching it in this medium, but to compare a beekeeper and their family getting stung to the likelihood of getting hit by asteroids or attacked by a great white? Huh? My family has all been stung multiple times (1 year of bees). The bees are FAR from the house (more than several acres), but it is true that the stings usually happen near the hive and not in our yard. My dad, visiting the hive, got nailed in the head.

A queenless hive, a drought, or even walnuts endlessly landing on the hive and things can change and lead to pissy bees. I've seen this after only 1 year.
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The pedigree of honey
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A clover, any time, to him
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Rodni73
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« Reply #50 on: May 14, 2010, 09:14:35 AM »

<<a queenless hive, a drought, or even walnuts endlessly landing on the hive and things can change and lead to pissy bees. I've seen this after only 1 year.>>

I agree with you! Then when his step son shows up for a visit keep him away from the beehive that is located on the corner of the 1 acre lot. No problems.. Beside most people who claim to be alergic to bees have no clue and they have a typical localized swelling reaction. He should find out about the child and take steps to protect and ensure his safety while visiting.

One thing though.. there are things in a relationship that cannot and must not be taken unless both partners discuss the situation. However, bringing a hive to a one acre lot should not be such a big deal...! I mean people are keeping bees on their roofs in Brooklin.. or on their balconies in NY city and matter of fact.. in Paris I saw people keeping bees on the roofs of their appartment buildings. I am prety sure there are a lot of deathly alergic people in those cities but the bees are allowed to be there because the risk of stinging is not so great.

That's my last comment on this subject!

 "GET THOSE BEES AND STOP FRETTING ABOUT IT"

What the big deal.. a little top bar hive on an acre..!
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philinacoma
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« Reply #51 on: May 14, 2010, 10:08:50 AM »

My wife bought me my first hive. She has been the only one to get stung so far. Appart from myself, but that wasn't their fault, the hive was sinking into the ground after we had all that rain...

My reaction to a sting is very minor. My wife's reaction is the limb swelling, the itchiness and most of all the screaming and recrimination. Her answer is to learn how to look after the bees too. Just as long as she can do so wearing a very thick wet suit.

PS: I forgot to mention the dogs learning that it was not a good idea to annoy all of those buzzing things comming and going from those wooden boxes.  Wink
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luvin honey
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« Reply #52 on: May 15, 2010, 12:48:29 AM »

Well, tonight DH suggested we go check on the girls. I was about 1 foot from the entrance, peeking in. He was still about 15 feet away when he got nailed. Right on the eyelid. I do not understand why this happens so often to my family. So I get to look like a selfish, evil beekeeper again who refuses to get rid of the bees no matter how often my family's faces are swollen into balloons!  rolleyes
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The pedigree of honey
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lenape13
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« Reply #53 on: May 16, 2010, 06:00:01 AM »

Well, tonight DH suggested we go check on the girls. I was about 1 foot from the entrance, peeking in. He was still about 15 feet away when he got nailed. Right on the eyelid. I do not understand why this happens so often to my family. So I get to look like a selfish, evil beekeeper again who refuses to get rid of the bees no matter how often my family's faces are swollen into balloons!  rolleyes

Well, stop peeking in the front for starters.  That's one sure way of getting nailed.  I work my hives from the rear, and many times I only wear my veil and gloves.  If you work slowly and carefully, they don't even get cranky.
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kathyp
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« Reply #54 on: May 16, 2010, 09:09:42 AM »

tell her that you have given up on the bee idea.  go get lots of catalogers for the most expensive and time consuming sport or hobby you can think of.  leave them around the place, take them to bed with you, and talk about it all the time.   evil

i don't have much patience with people who are fearful.  i understand concern for the child, but he's taking a risk every time he steps out the door.  there are tons of stingy thing out there.  a few bees won't much matter.


“Improvise, Modify, Adapt, Overcome”
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
Michael Bush
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« Reply #55 on: May 16, 2010, 11:42:47 PM »

I would never try to tell someone how to convince anyone of anything, let alone their wife...

But I think the misunderstanding is that there will be a lot more bees around.  There really won't be a noticable amount more.  That's what people don't understand.  The only place you see a lot is in the flight path in front of the hive.  A six foot  fence will put that over your head.
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bull
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« Reply #56 on: May 17, 2010, 12:40:10 AM »

Good answers , i just start talking about buying a firetruck a 28 footer then my wife is thinking where I'm going to put it . then a week later i tell her i want to order a new ? or supplies and that fine but no firetruck OK.  (yes dear) for now.
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ivashka
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« Reply #57 on: May 17, 2010, 01:22:10 AM »

Listen, if she is scared, you have got to understand her side.  Put your hive some place else, and every time you plan to go and visit the hive, take her along, but don't tell her where you're going.  Pretend than you are just stopping by to check on them as you are passing by.  She'll watch you from the car, next time, she may even come out to look at them, and than she'll warm up realizing they are not as bad and dangareous.

Also, this has nothing to do about treating leach other like children or like she's your mama.  She is your wife and you are her spouse and you have to undertand each others point of view and meet each other some where in the middle.  Don't just DO what you feel like it.  That's the benefit of being married is doing things together.  You talk things thru and work it out.  When you do what you FEEL LIKE doing means you have no respect for your spouse and you don't care about them at all. 

Let her warm up to them.  My wife was also scared of bees and we have 3 little children.  What i did was I put fancing about my hives so when children are playing in our backyard they don't come too close and stick their fingers in that hole.  It worked great and we haven't had any problems. 

My wife is still scared of them to death and doesn't come close but she is no longer against them.
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luvin honey
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« Reply #58 on: May 19, 2010, 12:01:53 AM »

Well, stop peeking in the front for starters.  That's one sure way of getting nailed. 
I only do that after determining their mood and approaching from the side. HE was quite a distance away when he got nailed.... Go figure.
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The pedigree of honey
Does not concern the bee;
A clover, any time, to him
Is aristocracy.
---Emily Dickinson
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