You all know I have an Aussie Maddy. She turned 15 on March 20th. Well, last Tue Amanda and I had to help her over the Rainbow Bridge. Those of you who have animals, specially dogs will know how heavy my heart is. She has been with me longer than any of my husbands or boyfriends. She was my rock here through thick & thin, always here with her cute face, always glad to see me, you know, dog stuff! She was always my cry hugger, leaning into me, letting me sob at the death of both Mom & Dad and a gazillion other of life's downs. I am at a loss now cause she is the one I'm bawlin about and there is nothing to hug. Cats by the way do not appreciate such intimacy! The process was very serene, my vet is wonderful and caring. We kept her in the back of my car, feeding her "cookies"(what she lived for these last few years) until the assistant came out with the tranq hugging, petting and giving her treats till she fell asleep. A few minutes later the vet came out and gave her the shot. I kept my face on hers, hands under her chin letting her smell me telling her what a good dog she was, Amanda was hugging her from the other side. (she was deaf but I think she got the feeling) how we loved her and that it was OK to go. I felt her breath get shallower, slower, then she was gone. I knew it before the Dr checked for a heartbeat. Buried her in the pasture with the goats & horse...literally..I dug up what I thought was a tree root, wondering why it was where it was..oops! Found where I had put one of the goats! Of all the places to dig, oh well, they did so enjoy playing together. I planted a tree there so I know next time. Still walk around where she used to sleep and think I hear her scratching the back door to get in, still look for her face to peek around the side of the house when I come home. Will take some time to work through it all just like losing Mom & Dad you don't realize what a huge part of your life they are until there is that deafening silence. Well, now that I have thoroughally depressed all of you I need to go to Church. Thanks for listening, it helps to get it out, part of the healing I hope!