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Author Topic: The ladies are gonna kill me over this one.  (Read 1526 times)
Galactic Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 6309

Location: Randleman, NC

« on: January 26, 2010, 05:51:13 PM »

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.   
Doctor: "What happened?"   
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do.  Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."   
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that..  When your husband comes home drunk,

 just take a glass of sweet tea and start gargling with it.  Just gargle and gargle."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.   
Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea!  Every time my husband came home drunk,

 I gargled with sweet tea.  I gargled and gargled, and nothing happened!"

Doctor: "You see how keeping your mouth shut helps?"   


"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
Universal Bee
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Gender: Female
Posts: 15330

Location: boring, oregon

« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2010, 06:18:22 PM »

consider yourself killed  evil butt kick

.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
Super Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 2342

Location: Lakeside OR

howdy all

« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2010, 10:14:59 AM »

It's been nice knowing you iddee grin

Fight organized crime!  Re-elect no one.
Field Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 612

Location: Belle Vernon, PA

We survive together, or not at all!

« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2010, 10:56:57 AM »

While I am warrior without fear of death, even I won't volunteer to protect you on this one.  I don't think the Marines would be able to save  you from the ladies now.  I will pray for you.... grin
Galactic Bee
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Gender: Female
Posts: 5317

Location: Placerville, California

« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2010, 12:24:07 PM »

 tongue tongue tongue jail
Field Bee
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Posts: 622

Location: S. Alabama, USA USDA Temp Zone 8A

« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2010, 06:40:51 PM »

We WILL miss ya though. Cry
Or as my 90yr old grandmother said as she looked into her fathers casket "Don't he look natural." bee bee bee
beee farmer
House Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 387

Location: Jackson, Mississippi

« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2010, 01:02:37 AM »

Refraining from statements, comments and antidotes like that has managed to keep me married for nearly 30 years to the same lady.

"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do"  Benjamin Franklin
Brian D. Bray
Galactic Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 7369

Location: Anacortes, WA 98221

I really look like this, just ask Cindi.

« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2010, 10:37:14 PM »

My wife and I have the perfect solution for an enduring marriage (38 yesrs this month); When one of us talks, the other doesn't listen.

Life is a school.  What have you learned?   Brian      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!
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