*an older man with a festive Christmas sweater walks in*
Hello, I'm Bing Crosby. Ya know, Christmas is my favorite time of year. The decorations, the joy on children's faces, the love of friends and family... all wonderful examples of this holiday season. In light of these things, and more recent events, I would like to share a new version of the holiday classic, "Little Drummer Boy."
*cues music*
Come, they told me, Ba-rack O-ba-ma
I bring you hope and change, Ba-rack O-ba-ma
I’ll hike the deficit, Ba-rack O-ba-ma
But I’m no Socialist, Ba-rack O-ba-ma, Ba-rack O-ba-ma, Ba-rack O-ba-ma
You’ll see things my way, A-mer-i-ca,
When I’m done.
I’ll close Gitmo, Ba-rack O-ba-ma
And have trans-par-en-cy, Ba-rack O-ba-ma
I’m friends with Harry Reid, Ba-rack O-ba-ma
And Nancy Pe-lo-si, Ba-rack O-ba-ma, Ba-rack O-ba-ma, Ba-rack O-ba-ma
We’ll change health care, too, A-mer-i-ca,
Because we’re dumb.
Teleprompter, Ba-rack O-ba-ma
The TV screen went blank, Ba-rack O-ba-ma
I don’t know what to say, Ba-rack O-ba-ma
Ah, err, um, a-hem, eh?, Ba-rack O-ba-ma, Ba-rack O-ba-ma, Ba-rack O-ba-ma
Now, the screen’s back on, A-mer-i-ca
So, I’ll drone on.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
