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Author Topic: A smart little old lady  (Read 890 times)
beecanbee
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Location: Kamogawa, Chiba Japan


« on: December 20, 2009, 11:14:48 PM »


A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two plastic garbage bags. One bag had a hole in it and $20 bills were flying out of it.

A policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, you're losing a lot of bills from that bag."

"Darnd!" she said, "Thanks for the warning. I'll go back and pick them up."

"Hold on there! Where'd all that money come from? Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no," she said. "My yard backs up on the stadium parking lot and, during tailgate parties, a lot of guys use my flower beds as bathrooms. So I stand behind a bush with my electric hedge clipper and when one is in mid-stream, I fire up the trimmer and say: '$20 or off it comes!'"

"Wow. Good idea!" laughed the cop. "But what's in the other bag?"

"Well," said the little old lady, "not all of them pay up!"
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Paul

“I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."  Duncan Vandiver

A boy can do half the work of a man, but two boys do less, and three boys get nothing done at all. Smiley

(False) Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.  - Samuel Johnson
kathyp
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Location: boring, oregon


« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2009, 11:34:25 PM »

 grin
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"Nay, it [this constitution of government] must perish, if there be not that vital spirit in the people, which alone can nourish, sustain, and direct all its movements. It is in vain, that statesmen shall form plans of government, in which the beauty and harmony of a republic shall be embodied in visible order, shall be built up on solid substructions, and adorned by every useful ornament, if the inhabitants suffer the silent power of time to dilapidate its walls, or crumble its massy supporters into dust; if the assaults from without are never resisted, and the rottenness and mining from within are never guarded against. Who can preserve the rights and liberties of the people, when they shall be abandoned by themselves? Who shall keep watch in the temple, when the watchmen sleep at their posts? Who shall call upon the people to redeem their possessions, and revive the republic, when their own hands have deliberately and corruptly surrendered them to the oppressor, and have built the prisons, or dug the graves of their own friends?

– Justice Joseph Story, "Commentaries on the Constitution of the United States," Volume II, Chapter XIII: Mode of Passing Laws, Sections 900-901, pp. 364 (1833)
hankdog1
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« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2009, 11:46:22 AM »

Wonder when Mike Rowe is gonna visit her for another episode of dirty jobs?   grin
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Take me to the land of milk and honey!!!
lenape13
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We survive together, or not at all!


« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2009, 12:31:33 PM »

Nothing like the free enterprise system.   cool
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KD4MOJ
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« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2009, 01:06:32 PM »

Wonder when Mike Rowe is gonna visit her for another episode of dirty jobs?   grin

  Speak of Rowe, tonight on "Dirty Jobs", the episode will be on "Worm Gruntin" in Sopchoppy FL (Tupelo honey fame)  just south of here. Seems normal to us but to other folks, $^*Huh??


...DOUG

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