A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they spent the whole afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep, awakening around 8 p.m.
As the man threw on his clothes, he told his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been together all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying swine! You've been playing golf!"