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Author Topic: Why boys need Moms and Dads  (Read 1982 times)
adgjoan
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« on: November 15, 2009, 04:59:50 PM »

 

This is for anyone who needs a laugh. You find out interesting things when you have sons, like...

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2 .) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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Bee Happy
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« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2009, 06:14:20 PM »

 tongue I'll let you know how the chlorox and brake fluid turn out.
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lenape13
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« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2009, 07:04:33 PM »

I was thinking the same thing.... shocked
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RayMarler
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« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2009, 02:08:56 AM »

Actually? I was kinda thinking about that ceiling fan with baseball combination. I wonder if I can rig up an intrusion prevention system for my house?
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adgjoan
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« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2009, 05:09:50 AM »

You guys are priceless!!LOL
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Scadsobees
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« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2009, 09:04:38 AM »

From my experience with 4 boys:

I don't know about baseballs, but stuffed animals and ceiling fans are fun.

It is possible to pee on the toilet.  Not just on the seat, but ON THE TANK.

You're not having fun unless somebody is crying.

You CAN catch a racoon by the tail.

It is better to walk 30 feet to pee in the yard rather than 10 feet to the bathroom.

Fruit trees aren't for that stupid fruit stuff, but for climbing.

Anything is a sword.  Or gun.

Thankfully they haven't heard about the brake fluid thing.  yet.
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Rick
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« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2009, 12:21:50 PM »

You can play baseball using rocks as a substitute for the actual ball and if you do it near mom's brand new car it will break her windshield.
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Irwin
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« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2009, 01:25:21 PM »

We used coal's out of the campfire when you hit them with a baseball bat at night it looked realy cool anD yes we got burnt but it was FUN grin
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Bee Happy
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« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2009, 01:35:02 PM »

Armadillo football anyone?
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BeeHopper
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« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2009, 01:55:18 PM »

tongue I'll let you know how the chlorox and brake fluid turn out.

You and me both, I can't wait to get home from work, unless I find some h..........................  evil


Yup, that Clorox and Brake fluid thing  huh  False  rolleyes  I tried it here at work, nothing happened, got some boooos from some co-workers ( oh well ) .

BH
« Last Edit: November 18, 2009, 08:19:15 AM by BeeHopper » Logged
Brian D. Bray
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« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2009, 04:27:46 PM »

From my experience with 4 boys:
 I raised a full house, 3 boys and 2 girls, in that order.....3 of a kind and a pair make a full house, right?

Quote
I don't know about baseballs, but stuffed animals and ceiling fans are fun.

It is possible to pee on the toilet.  Not just on the seat, but ON THE TANK.

Beer, Apple Juice, and Urine all look the same when in the bottle, only 2 taste the same.  If your child offers you a drink from his pop bottle be aware it's not apple juice or beer.

Quote
You're not having fun unless somebody is crying.

You CAN catch a racoon by the tail.

My older brother and I actually did this several times while teenagers, he still has scars on his wrists where they bit to daylight.  Looking a the moon through your the hole in your brothers wrist is assume.

Quote
It is better to walk 30 feet to pee in the yard rather than 10 feet to the bathroom.

Fruit trees aren't for that stupid fruit stuff, but for climbing.

Having been raised on a farm it is only natural to water the foliage when the pressure builds up.  It's much easier on the boys than the girls but that doesn't stop them either.

Quote
Anything is a sword.  Or gun.

Thankfully they haven't heard about the brake fluid thing.  yet .

a parent must learn that all chemicals should be under constant lock and key.  My older brother and I collected salt peter, charcoal, and sulfur from which we manufactured black power, poor quality but enough to remove our house and the surround neighborhood from with in the city limits.  Luckily my father discovered it before it met with a spark.  As for some of the ohter thinks we concocted from house hold chemicals....I let your imaginations run rampet.

Quote
2 .) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

Something to use to fire up the old smoker.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2009, 06:35:11 PM by Brian D. Bray » Logged

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