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Author Topic: conservative or liberal ???  (Read 1141 times)

Online iddee

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conservative or liberal ???
« on: October 21, 2009, 07:50:58 PM »
If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one..
If a liberal  doesn't like guns, he  wants all guns outlawed.
 
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products
banned for everyone.
 
If  a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to
defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
 
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated  respect.
 
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as
independently successful.
Their liberal  counterparts see themselves as victims in
need of government  protection.
 
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks
about how to better his situation.
A liberal  wonders who is going to take care of him.
 
If a conservatie doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
 
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants  any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)
 
If a conservative decides he needs  health care, he goes about
shopping for it, or  may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
 
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is
embarrassed.
If a liberal  slips and falls, he  grabs his neck, moans like
he's in labor  and then sues.
 
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can
have a good laugh..
A liberal will delete it because he's  "offended".
 
 
 
Which are you?
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline beecanbee

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Re: conservative or liberal ???
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2009, 12:16:24 AM »
Well – I like to say that I am a conservative – but not a Republican.  Too often the two get confused.  This said – I don’t think I will be forwarding it, and given that it is in this thread – I would have no way to delete it anyway. :roll:

And of those I know who do identify themselves a liberals – they would take the conservative statements as their own positions, except maybe the last one – so while humorous, not very accurate. :-D
Paul

“I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."  Duncan Vandiver

A boy can do half the work of a man, but two boys do less, and three boys get nothing done at all. :)

(False) Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.  - Samuel Johnson

Online iddee

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Re: conservative or liberal ???
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2009, 09:18:27 AM »
>>>>so while humorous, not very accurate.<<<<

Was it posted under humor or coffeehouse???
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline tshnc01

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Re: conservative or liberal ???
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2009, 09:57:47 AM »
Humor....

Offline kathyp

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Re: conservative or liberal ???
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2009, 11:00:27 AM »
i got that in an email and thought it was pretty accurate!
wait, i know.....the liberal gene and the humor gene are connected.  it's defective in some people  :-D
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline kedgel

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Re: conservative or liberal ???
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2009, 10:43:19 PM »
Loved it!  All good humor has it roots in real life.
Talent is a dull blade that cuts nothing unless wielded with great force--Pat Travers

Offline beee farmer

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Re: conservative or liberal ???
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2009, 01:15:58 AM »
 :buttkick:
"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do"  Benjamin Franklin