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Author Topic: the casuses of arthritis  (Read 793 times)

Offline beecanbee

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the casuses of arthritis
« on: October 19, 2009, 09:09:44 PM »
A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be darned, "Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologised. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
 
Paul

“I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."  Duncan Vandiver

A boy can do half the work of a man, but two boys do less, and three boys get nothing done at all. :)

(False) Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.  - Samuel Johnson

Offline beee farmer

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Re: the casuses of arthritis
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2009, 10:38:06 PM »
 X:X
"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do"  Benjamin Franklin

Offline 1reb

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Re: the casuses of arthritis
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2009, 11:04:42 PM »
 :devilbanana: :lau:  :-D

Offline beecanbee

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Re: the casuses of arthritis
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2009, 05:20:07 AM »
I thought that I would score myself….


loose living: 1 (not sure what this is, but probably guilty)
being with cheap, wicked women: 1/2  (well, not cheap, but definitely wicked at times)
too much alcohol: 1 (for sure)
contempt for your fellow man: 0 (nope – nothing but the greatest respect)
sleeping around with prostitutes: 0 (nope – never done that)
lack of a bath: 1 (sure, every day – at least until I hit the water)

So if this is equally weighted, I get a three and a half out of five – guess arthritis is a coming.
Paul

“I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."  Duncan Vandiver

A boy can do half the work of a man, but two boys do less, and three boys get nothing done at all. :)

(False) Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.  - Samuel Johnson

 

anything