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Author Topic: You live in.................  (Read 2302 times)
BigRog
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Location: Richmond, Virginia


« on: June 13, 2004, 02:19:29 PM »

You live in Arizona when...
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.
7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

You Live in California when...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2 The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You Live in New York City when...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2... You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsinon a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature,"
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You Live in Maine when...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You Live in the Deep South when...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

You live in Colorado when...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You live in the Midwest when...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

You live in Florida when....
1. You eat dinner at3:15in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people  cheesy
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"Lurch my good man,…what did you mean when you said just now that 'You've got better things to do than run my petty little errands'…….?"
Beth Kirkley
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Location: Eastman, Georgia


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« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2004, 09:26:31 PM »

The stuff it says about Colorado and the midwest is SO true. LOL I used to live in Colorado, and I'll tell you a couple stories.
I knew some people (hippies) that lived in a tee-pee (sp?). The had two children that were both born IN the tee-pee with NO midwife. The children's names (both boys) were Welcome & Mesa. The first time I met them I gave the kids some cookies. Welcome said thank you, and I just couldn't bring myself to say "you're welcome". LOL
And also.... I know several people who were bald on top, but had ponytails. And several people who did carry their very expensive mountain bikes ontop of junky little cars.
Plus there's this:
Tea usually consists of stuff you've picked yourself out of your yard and dried. Same with medicine.
You're doctor tells you to eat more garlic, might read your palms, and suggest a colon cleanse for parisites. And - he has long hair, wears patched jeans to work, and rides a harley.

Plus other weird stuff I just can't think of at the moment. Smiley

Beth
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Michael Bush
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Posts: 13967


Location: Nehawka, NE


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« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2005, 11:55:02 AM »

I was in Arizona once.  I asked them why no one had a basement and they said that h*ll was so close they were afraid they'd fall through.

I knew they didn't get much rain when someone fainted and they threw a bucket of dust in his face.

So I asked a local if it every rained.  He thought a minute and said, "You remember that time that guy put all those animals on the boat and it rained so much?"

I said "yea" and he said "that time we got 1/4".
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Michael Bush
My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
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"Everything works if you let it."--Rick Nielsen
Horns Pure Honey
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Posts: 148

Location: Illinois


« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2005, 08:17:13 PM »

You have the Midwest down my friend, lol, bye  cheesy
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Ryan Horn
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