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Author Topic: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack  (Read 5010 times)

Offline beecanbee

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U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« on: October 04, 2009, 11:01:43 PM »

GAINESVILLE, Florida (AP) -- No one expects a zombie apocalypse. But the University of Florida is making sure officials are ready for a night of the living dead, just in case.

The school has a plan for responding to the undead on its Web site among outlines for dealing with hurricanes and pandemics.

The exercise lays out how university officials would respond to attacks by "flesh-eating, apparently life impaired individuals." It notes that a zombie outbreak might include "documentation of lots of strange moaning."

A University of Florida spokesman says the exercise was written by an employee at the school's academic technology office to "add a little bit of levity" to disaster preparation discussions.

( I saw a followup - that indicated that the plan is no longer posted to their website.)

Paul

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Offline beemaster

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2009, 09:50:50 AM »
I think giving up on the Zombie Preparation may be a bad idea... OK, primarily in film - but these critters are as elusive as the Chupracabra and sound UFO footage, but years ago Zombies were slow, brain-dead humans, seeking brains and flesh and unless someone fell while running from them, the could get away every time.

Not today!!! Now they think, and plan and are lightning fast, they can even scale the outsides of buildings and unless you are prepared for blowing their heads off, at least smashing them like a pumpkin, you will likely NOT survive an attack by a single walking dead, let alone a hoard of them.

And don't think they don't travel in packs, because they do. They become very "dependant social creatures" like Jelly Fish who get smarter as they school - each jelly fish "firing" like a neuron in the group, gaining intelligence as their group grows in numbers searching the seas for food.

Of course Zombies have their restrictions too - they must go through Rigor mortis, but that takes about 12 hours to set in and another 6 to 10 to relax up again - so then is you best defence, hide from them until they are slowed down by rigor, then come after them.

You can never be prepared enough I say. Just to be prepared, most colleges need to buy (or at least lease) armored cars capable of a sizable weapons caches and sharpshooters ready to man these mobile zombie killing machines while the rest of the campus are in safe rooms. Having mobile restock facilities for the ammo may be necessary, ideally off campus far enough away where the zombies can't follow fast enough to see where the caches are - unless of course they have learned to drive  :shock:

And God for bid the zombies get their hands on the weapons, recent films show a great deal of dexterity developing in their sect. Why would they chase you down if they could just shoot you - or run you over with their cars? I think their evolution is far superior to that of living man, so board your doors up well, stock all the ammo you can and for God's sake, don't let the zombies get your guns or car keys, just in case!

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Offline kathyp

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2009, 03:23:54 PM »
why not?  i am waiting to get beamed up any day  now!  i also have a variety of tin foil hats, and am considering doing an entire suite.  one can never be to prepared.  it's the disaster you don't anticipate that will get you!    :evil:

isn't the shotgun the recomended weapon for dealing with zombies?  it works in the games and i'm sure i saw it in a movie...maybe Shawn of The Dead?
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline beecanbee

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2009, 05:52:54 AM »
Hey - this is real.... and it has already started as this news link can attest...

http://www.newsnet5.com/news/21216253/detail.html

An Ohio elementary school kid needed to be pried off the arm of a teacher...  The child needed to be taken to a hospital for a psychological examination - but I think they missed the contingency plan on this one - they should have taken him back to the morgue.  Now if I understand this correctly - the teacher is infected - and it all starts again.
Paul

“I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."  Duncan Vandiver

A boy can do half the work of a man, but two boys do less, and three boys get nothing done at all. :)

(False) Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.  - Samuel Johnson

Offline Paraplegic Racehorse

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2009, 01:54:47 PM »
Here's a study by an epidemiologist student on the potential infection rate and outcome of a zombie attack:

http://www.mathstat.uottawa.ca/~rsmith/Zombies.pdf
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Offline Scadsobees

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2009, 02:03:10 PM »
How does one go about killing something that is already dead???
Rick

Offline Paraplegic Racehorse

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2009, 02:09:36 PM »
It's less to do with killing it and more to do with permanently disabling it.
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Offline lenape13

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2009, 02:30:50 PM »
I do believe the standard issue 12 gauge shotgun is the preferred method of re-dispatching the undead, followed closely by large caliber rifles and hand-cannons.  Chainsaws are useful for decapitaion and dismemberment, but I would think they would be unwieldy for prolonged use.  I would think something more along the lines of a two-handed claymore, or the basket-hilt claymore for closer quarters, would be more appropriate.  Not to mention the idea of running out of gas at the most inopportune moment. :roll:

Offline beecanbee

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2009, 08:31:49 PM »
Here's a study by an epidemiologist student on the potential infection rate and outcome of a zombie attack...

Quite impressive - but since the outbreak has already started - with that elementary student a few days ago - Just how many of you are still susceptibles, and how many are zombie beeks?
Paul

“I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."  Duncan Vandiver

A boy can do half the work of a man, but two boys do less, and three boys get nothing done at all. :)

(False) Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.  - Samuel Johnson

Offline beemaster

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2009, 08:22:39 AM »
Just as a note, I don't take zombies lightly, we've all seen the carnage they can do - and just as you have a small number of Goth like idiots out there that may be into vampirism, so there may be zombies about. Minus the whole "Dead or undead" issue, Jeffrey Daumer (sp) and others were close enough for me.

On a lighter note, I saw Zombieland a few days ago, don't waste your time unless you are a fan of any of the "stars" none of which (minus a cameo of Bill Murry) are very good and the story line is just a lame love story hidden in a world that immates Kill Bill. Sadly, not even the zombies are even any good, the just happlessly run toward the camera, only to get smashed with something or shot down.

The only funny parts are the two girls constantly out-witting the two guy characters, but then of course, like a woman always does in a film, she (figuratively in this case) falls and needs the help of men to save her. Nothing new in this film, I'll take a good John Carpenter or Quintin Tarrintino or (yes) Rob Zombie movie - any day!

Keep your doors locked, and if someone knocks and when you ask who it is, they answer "Need more Brains" don't open you doors, at least until Halloween is over!
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Offline beemaster

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2009, 12:45:23 AM »
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Offline hankdog1

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #11 on: November 23, 2009, 04:09:25 AM »
See now here we go being sarcastic without knowing all the facts.  Saw a zombie not that long ago on a TV program about them (yes a real life zombie) normal dude.  He says he died and awoke to a man who says he brought him back from death.  He worked for this man for 10 years before he was released to go back to his family.  Mind you this happened in Hati so god only knows what kind of black magic stuff goes on deep in the forest.  His sister saw him planted in the ground and everything even have a nice death certificate.  Some people beleave he was never dead though but drugged and since we all know health care down there isn't all that great he could have been pronounced dead and been buried alive.  I must admit i beleave after working a ten year debt off because i'm a zombie for being brought back to life i think i'd be looking for some revenge on the guy that brought me back.  Bring him back and enslave him for ten years.  Just goes to show you though zombies do exist and this guy seemed pretty nice didn't even offer to eat any brains while he was interviewed. 
Take me to the land of milk and honey!!!

Offline lenape13

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #12 on: November 23, 2009, 09:07:32 AM »
Zombie's do exist.  Anyone who doubts simply needs to go to work with me this afternoon.  The building is full of them.  They just wander around aimlessly at slow speeds, and the average age range is 18-25 years.   :evil:

Offline kathyp

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #13 on: November 23, 2009, 11:20:25 AM »
any chance there is a GS on their pay card somewhere?
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline lenape13

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #14 on: November 23, 2009, 01:50:30 PM »
any chance there is a GS on their pay card somewhere?

No, I work in a retail distribution center.  These kids don't have a clue of what it is to actually work, as most still live at home with mommy and daddy.  They come to work just to get beer money.  All week long, all they talk about is which bar they're heading to after work and how much they'll be drinking over the weekend.  I find it pathetic.  The company could save money by getting rid of them because the work would still get done by those of us who actually do the work.  It might even go faster because we wouldn't have to work around them.   :roll:  Of course, they're also for government run, taxpayer funded healthcare because then they would have more party money by not having to pay for their share of our company provided plan.  (It's a great plan, too!)

Offline beecanbee

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Re: U.S. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
« Reply #15 on: December 03, 2009, 03:09:35 AM »
The company could save money by getting rid of them because the work would still get done by those of us who actually do the work.  It might even go faster because we wouldn't have to work around them. 

Ahhh - Just think of the great service you are performing - offering yourself as a role model, and teaching them how to work.  Everyone needs to learn sometime, and I believe that most will, and of course some never will.  I remember having to teach workers how to use a broom - and when they learned they were surprised.  Even coiling a rope or an extension cord - got to learn to do it right.
Paul

“I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."  Duncan Vandiver

A boy can do half the work of a man, but two boys do less, and three boys get nothing done at all. :)

(False) Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.  - Samuel Johnson