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Author Topic: Your duck is dead  (Read 978 times)

Offline Irwin

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Your duck is dead
« on: September 29, 2009, 06:52:05 PM »

Subject: Fw: Your Duck is Dead

It's autumn and the falling leaves bring oldies but goodies back:

 A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary  surgeon. As she laid
 pet on the table, the vet  pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the
bird's  chest.

 After a moment or two, the vet shook his head  sadly and said, "I'm sorry,
your duck, Cuddles, has passed  away."

 The distressed woman wailed, "Are you  sure?"

 "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.

 "How can you be so sure?"  she protested. "I mean you haven't done any
testing on him or  anything. He might just be in a coma or  something."

 The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and  left the room.

 He returned a few minutes later  with a black Labrador Retriever. As the
duck's owner looked on in  amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put
his front paws  on the examination table and
 sniffed the duck from top to  bottom.   He then looked up at the vet
with sad eyes and  shook his
 head.   The vet patted the dog on the  head and took it out of the room.

 A few  minutes later he returned with a cat.  The cat jumped on the  table
and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on
its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly
  and strolled out of the room.

 The vet looked  at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
is  most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

 The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few  keys and
 produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.  The duck's owner, still in
 took the bill.  "$  150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck
is  dead!"

 The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had  just taken my word for it, the
bill would have been $20, but  with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's
now $150.

Fight organized crime!  Re-elect no one.

Offline vermmy35

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Re: Your duck is dead
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2009, 09:44:27 PM »
ROFLMAO!!!!! :-D
Semper Fi to all my brothers out there

Offline 1reb

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Re: Your duck is dead
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2009, 09:57:17 PM »

Offline beecanbee

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Re: Your duck is dead
« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2009, 10:02:30 PM »
Good one.  :)

“I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."  Duncan Vandiver

A boy can do half the work of a man, but two boys do less, and three boys get nothing done at all. :)

(False) Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.  - Samuel Johnson