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Author Topic: dating  (Read 2916 times)
the bee boy
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« on: September 19, 2009, 06:49:39 PM »

well, i don't know how to say this but i need some advice on geting a girl friend. i am twelve. any advice? ( it would be great if some girls posted on here so i can get a girls perspective) THANKS!!   grin
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kathyp
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« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2009, 07:11:30 PM »

my advice is to have many friends who are girls, but not one girlfriend...at your age.  smiley

if you really want to learn about girls and how to interact with them, first learn to have them as friends.

this is an old girls perspective!!
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
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« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2009, 07:49:48 PM »

Good luck bee boy; kathy gave some good advice.

He is something else to think about:

Be especially nice to those homely girls. They just have not peaked yet.

Steve
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iddee
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« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2009, 09:17:02 PM »

The best way is to ignore them at first.

If you chase them, they run.  If you don't, they come closer to find out why.    huh   rolleyes
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« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2009, 11:31:31 PM »

The best way is to ignore them at first.

If you chase them, they run.  If you don't, they come closer to find out why.    huh   rolleyes



Kinda like deer hunting.... hunt hard all morning and not see anything,,, sit under a tree and fall asleep and wake up to a doe smelling your boots!
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asprince
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« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2009, 10:21:18 AM »

Kinda like deer hunting.... hunt hard all morning and not see anything,,, sit under a tree and fall asleep and wake up to a doe smelling your boots!

That very thing has happened to me!! pink elephant

Steve
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« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2009, 11:57:15 AM »

My advise is to not get a girl friend now, and when you get a little older just date them and when they start talking about "WALKING THE GREEN MILE" (marriage),  run as fast and as far as you can and don't look back  evil
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« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2009, 01:20:31 PM »

My advise is to not get a girl friend now, and when you get a little older just date them and when they start talking about "WALKING THE GREEN MILE" (marriage),  run as fast and as far as you can and don't look back  evil
Your a wise man grin  glad the wife is next door evil
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« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2009, 03:26:36 PM »

You guys are all talk, you'd be lost without us.  grin
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Geoff
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« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2009, 07:09:47 PM »

Hey TWT did you get caught without your running shoes on. LOL.
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« Reply #10 on: September 20, 2009, 08:40:18 PM »

"Run Forrest, RUN."  grin
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« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2009, 02:30:21 AM »

Girls are ugly, and they smell funny...  evil

You should not be worrying about this for at least four more years.
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« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2009, 12:53:18 PM »

Stay away from my 12-yo daughter who'd like nothing better than a boyfriend.  Any boy that comes too near is going to have to face a whole swarm of killer bees.   tongue
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Rick
the bee boy
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« Reply #13 on: September 21, 2009, 01:00:39 PM »

thanks every body! grin i will try to see what works best. (and for every one that said not to get one right now,i am still going to get a girl friend, sorry) this should prove to be very interesting. rolleyes
 WISH ME LUCK!! grin    ( Kiss I hope. lau lol!) THANKS!! Smiley
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charmd2
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« Reply #14 on: September 21, 2009, 02:47:09 PM »

Ok, I'll add in here. Smiley  This probally applies a little more when you can drive said girlfriend to dates, and bring her home to meet momma.  But Always treat your mother with respect.   Girls are taught that the way a boy treats his mom is the way he will treat his wife. 

I remember when it seemed important to have a boyfriend at age 12.  so I can imagine the emotions ring true for a boy to have a girlfriend. 

Find someone who shares similar intrests then you will have something to talk about.   

Know mom and dad's phone rules.  They may not be what you would expect.  and know ahead of time if using cell phone minutes, etc. is acceptable.   The punishment for messing up is not worth it.  Phone bills are expensive if misused. 

Other than that try to know some current events, pop culture, the latest movies.  Make yourself informed and knowledgable.   But listen to her opinions. 



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Charla Hinkle
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« Reply #15 on: September 21, 2009, 03:19:21 PM »

make sure you get to know her parents.  not only will they feel more comfortable with you, but you'll get to see what she's probably going to be like when she gets older.  how mom acts and how mom treats dad, is what you get.
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
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« Reply #16 on: September 21, 2009, 04:34:33 PM »

New shoes, a haircut and a PAYCHECK always works for me.

Confidence is key.  There is no substitute for confidence.  The shy weird guy in the corner gets the last pick at the dance.  Your "the man" and they are fortunate to be your girlfriend because you are a cool guy that treats them with respect but is not a wimp they can run all over.   

Go for the cute girl that likes to fish and will bait her own hook.  ALWAYS, ALWAYS only go out with girls that like you and not girls that you like.  Your confident remember.  If they don't like you and have to be convinced they are obviously a bad judge of character.  It's not a contest your looking for but a companion.  The measure of a good girlfriend is how well they treat YOU not how pretty or popular they are.

One other tip.  When looking for ways to attract women.  Don't listen to advice from women.  They never know what they want and when they do they change their mind in a moment.

   

 

   
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« Reply #17 on: September 21, 2009, 05:05:08 PM »



One other tip.  When looking for ways to attract women.  Don't listen to advice from women.  They never know what they want and when they do they change their mind in a moment.

   

 

   

 grin grin grin
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charmd2
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« Reply #18 on: September 21, 2009, 05:07:13 PM »

No comment. Smiley   I never know what I want, but at least I'm upfront about it.  lol
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Charla Hinkle
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« Reply #19 on: September 21, 2009, 05:38:23 PM »

Quote
Confidence is key.  There is no substitute for confidence. 

Mason is on the money here....I didn't figure this out until I was almost finished with college.  And bee boy, notice that he didn't say cocky, he said confident.

...Tim
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the bee boy
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« Reply #20 on: September 21, 2009, 06:36:41 PM »

this is good, this is very good. grin ( and mason, thankfuly i DO have a paychek Smiley) . keep it coming! Wink
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« Reply #21 on: September 21, 2009, 10:19:23 PM »

ok my next advise, if one day you just have to "walk the green mile", there was a old saying I lived by and here it is

I always said that I would only marry 2 times and this was my route,
First time getting married is for love and the second time for money,

that where I messed up, me and my first wife are still together after 22 years and now I am trapped, looks like this one want let me find a rich second wife  Cry , I should have turned that around and married a rich women first, then if that didn't work find one to love, you always be poor doing it the way I did   shocked  Wink  evil
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dragonfly
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« Reply #22 on: September 22, 2009, 02:00:40 PM »

The best way is to ignore them at first.

If you chase them, they run.  If you don't, they come closer to find out why.    huh   rolleyes
]

That's exactly the advice I was going to give. grin

1. Wait awhile. 12 is awfully young to be worried about girlfriends.
2.  Be yourself, because if a girl likes you for being what she thinks you are, she probably won't when she finds out what you are in reality.
3. Pretend you are blind. If you pick someone based on how they look, you may be missing that she has poor character.
4. No matter how smart a girl is, or how pretty a girl is, look first at her core values (is she kind, generous, loving, courteous, does she like her parents and her siblings, does she talk badly about others?). Core values and character last a lifetime. Good looks don't last forever, and there's always someone else who is smart.
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charmd2
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« Reply #23 on: September 22, 2009, 03:32:05 PM »

It's your opinion that matters.  however much I try and try to explain this to my two, they seem to think that it is the opinion of the crowd that matters. 

IF you like her it doesn't matter what your friends think.  Believe me, this is hard to understand now.  But the older you get the more you will realize the truth in it.  Most of the people you associate with now will not be around you by your 21st birthday.   Actually I'm only 30 and I only rarely see anyone I went to school with, I even live in the same county I went to school in.   

Make your decisions based on your core values, not someone elses.  Smiley  This applies to girlfriends, and everything else. 
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Charla Hinkle
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« Reply #24 on: September 22, 2009, 04:15:48 PM »

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IF you like her it doesn't matter what your friends think

however, if everyone is telling you she's trouble, it's a good idea to listen.  when kids are "in love" they miss some very important warning signs. 
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
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« Reply #25 on: September 22, 2009, 04:42:15 PM »

Ok there is some truth in that Kathy, Smiley   I was thinking more toward the "popular" image vs. the "nonpopular".  Some of the most amazing people I've ever met were definately outcasts in school. 
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Charla Hinkle
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« Reply #26 on: September 22, 2009, 05:35:23 PM »

i was thinking of the disaster my son married the first time  grin

when you put on a blue shirt, and all day people compliment you on your pretty pink shirt, it's probably your eyes that need to be checked!
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
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« Reply #27 on: September 22, 2009, 10:46:15 PM »

Just be careful what you ask for Beeboy - you might just get it and then some. I hear horror stories about 6th to 8th graders and can't imagine such things, but just stay away from any girls who are mentioned in those horror stories.

Friendship is the most important thing, you'll never love a girl you don't like. if she isn't your best friend, she'll never be the love of your life and the one thing I haven't heard mentioned: with every romance fron your first to your last, there is heartbreak and it is called that because is describes it perfectly, you feel like you are crushed inside and will never heal.
Luckily, we all recover and most often move on. Having not even seen your teens yet, likely you'll have a dozen broken hearts before highschool is over, if you think you are ready for that kind of pain, than go for a girl friend, but if you want to learn how relationships work, then you'll really want a friend or friends who are girls.

By the way, the guy who has girls for friends is the guy most likely to get the best girl in the end - they don't feel the pressure of actual dating, but the fun you have is just the same and believe me makes for you making a better boyfriend later on when it really counts  grin

12 is young and for some reason you believe NOW is the time - we all know what it is called but that conversation you need to bring up with parents and peers. But for now, enjoy learning all about girls and don't fix your mind on one. If it is meant to happen it will, but as mentioned before by others, don't chase them, they will run away - cause many kids your age still play tag in the back oof their minds, not seeking romance. No one is going to tell you different, so date if you must, but respect her no matter what or you will earn a reputation that will follow you the rest of your life.
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