Church joke

[irerob]

  Larry ,a painter, was sitting in church one sunday  when the pastor made the announcement that they were going to be taking bids to paint the church.
  Larry wanting to help his church and maybe make a few bucks in the process  put in a low ball bid to get the job.
  After he won the bid he started buying the materials he needed and realized he totally under bid the job there was no way he would make any money and may even go in the hole.
 He then had a stroke of genius they weren't painting it a different color so he would just water down all of the paint and just apply one coat and no one would know the difference.
  It was working great he bought what he needed and not only was he out of the red he was going to make a tidy profit for himself.
  Just as hes finishing up the job a terrible thunder storm comes from no where and Larry watches with dismay as the fresh paint runs down the church and into the grass
  As Larry looks up to the sky it clears and he hears a booming voice from the clouds exclaim "REPAINT AND THIN NO MORE!"

[JP]

I'm gonna send this to one of my aunts who is a very active churchgoer!


...JP

[1reb]

 

[Mason]

man that is bad,

fortunately I really appreciate a really "bad" joke.

My dad would have loved this one.  Right up his alley.

[iddee]

That's about as bad as this one........







Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?
                                   
Wonder no more!!!
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in  the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:   

 


 
                         "Freeze a jolly good fellow."
                       
                     "Then they kick him in the ice hole."



You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you!